Date sent: Sat, 27 Sep 97 21:34:14 UT From: "William Reed" <ThrillHouse@classic.msn.com> To: submissions@x-philes.com Subject: Story Submission Title: United as One Author: Amy Forrester Rating: PG Classification: Mulder/Scully Angst/Romance Summary: Mulder and Scully have a bitter fight, causing Scully to leave the X-files. Her departure causes both agents to realize just how important they are to each other, and how life just isn't worth living if they're not together Disclaimer: Okay, I did not make the X-files. I did not create the characters of Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, Maggie Scully, or Skinner. They belong to 1013 productions, FOX, and Chris Carter. If you didn't know that already, well, I just don't know what to say. So don't sue me! Note: This is my second fanfic. I'd really appreciate ANY comments on this story or my other story "I Should Have Told You" which can be found in the Gossamer Archive. Please e-mail me at ThrillHouse@msn.com ThanX!!!!!! "United as One" By, Amy Forrester J. Edgar Hoover Building August 27, 1997 It was a hot day in Washington, and the heat only added to the tension in the basement office of two FBI agents. The heat, along with differing opinions, had made both Dana Scully and Fox Mulder more irritable than usual. "Mulder, let me get this straight," Dana Scully crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. "You're telling me that somehow this serial killer is possessed by an alien being?" "He claims to have been abducted, Scully, right before he started killing, in fact," he threw the file down on his desk in frustration. "CLAIMS to have been abducted, Mulder. You have no way of proving that he was," an exasperated Scully replied. "How often does a CEO of a Fortune 500 company start killing people just like that?? Especially just days after being abducted? His retrogressive hypnosis tape reveals that he remembers a hostile creature, an extra-terrestrial, entering his body," Mulder's voice had risen from it's usual volume. Scully stood up straight, and placed her hands on her hips, "Mulder, this is- this is insane!" she cried, her voice level now matching Mulder's, "I don't even know why I'm listening to another one of your ludicrous theories!! He probably had so much stress on him, it caused a nervous breakdown, affecting his psychosis," she laughed cruelly, "This is probably the most inane theories I've heard from you yet!" Mulder was angered at his partner's lecture, "You know what?" he said, stepping closer to her, "I'm getting pretty damn sick of listening to you tell me how stupid my theories are! I'm sick of listening to you talk like your the most important person in the world, like you're always right! I'm sick of that sarcastic smirk you always have on your face when I'm explaining one of my theories to you!" Dana removed her hands from her hips, and pushed a stray lock of fiery red hair behind her ear. "All right, Mulder," she said calmly, "This has gone far enough. Let's calm down, now. We're both adults here, and friends, and sometimes friends have fights." Mulder looked right at her, his face flushed, his hair mussed from running his fingers through it so many times, "Friends? Excuse me? If we were `friends', Scully, you wouldn't act like this towards me, like I'm an idiot. A `friend' would accept my theories, and later on possibly correct it. You're not a friend to me, Scully, you're-" Scully interrupted him, a pained expression on her face, "Mulder, you don't mean that," she said. "Oh really? How can you be so sure? You're not my friend, Scully. Why would I want to be friends with the `Ice Queen'? How could I be friends with someone with a stone heart? It's impossible. You're nothing to me!" he yelled. Oh my God, he thought to himself, I can't believe I just said that. Mulder inwardly kicked himself. He loved Scully. What he had said was unfair, and untrue. It was just plain mean. Scully's eyes glistened with tears. "I can't believe you just said that," she said, her voice quavery. Mulder looked down, feeling horrible about what he said. His faced softened with guilt, "Scully, I- " Scully interrupted him, her own anger building, "I can't believe I wasted four years of my life in these stupid X-files, listening to your insane theories, giving you everything I could, pouring everything I had into this, trusting you with everything, working hard to let you trust me, and now, I mean nothing to you," she hissed the last three words. "Well Mulder, as far as I'm concerned, you mean nothing to me. You don't mean anything to anyone." Mulder winced. Ouch, he thought. "You sit here in a basement office, searching through ludicrous cases, searching for a sister who was probably kidnapped, and probably died long ago. A sister who probably wouldn't even remember you if you ever find her," Scully paused to take a breath, "You don't mean anything to her, Mulder. And you're never going to find her." Scully knew it was cruel of her to say such things, but she still couldn't believe that he had said that to her. Mulder's own eyes were now filled with tears. "Well, since you obviously hate me and the X-files, Scully, why are you still here?" he sneered. "I honestly don't know," she sneered right back, and stomped out of the office, slamming the door behind her. Oh God, Mulder thought, this can't be happening. He kicked the filing cabinet in frustration. He sat down in his chair, and with his head in his hands, he began to sob. Her words still stung. I don't mean anything to anyone, he repeated in his head. Samantha doesn't know who I am. I'm never going to find her. I mean nothing to her. He never thought that his heart could physically break. He never thought that he would ever be able to feel the pain of his heart breaking. But then, that day, he did. ****** Just outside the basement office, Dana Scully, too, was crying. Her tear drops splashed on to her cream blouse and navy blue jacket. It hurt her to hear Mulder say such things about her. Do I really mean nothing to him? she asked herself. Her nickname, the `Ice Queen', was a sensitive subject for her. Mulder had once yelled at the people who called her that. Now he was one of the people who called her that. But what probably stung the most was him saying she had a heart of stone, and telling her that she meant nothing to him. She was crying too hard to think straight. She muffled her sobs with her hand. "It hurts," she whispered to herself, through her tears. "It hurts." She walked down the hall, her head down, and walked out of the building, still crying. ****** That night, Scully sat at home, tears still streaming down her face. She picked up the phone constantly, willing herself to call Mulder, but just couldn't. How would she be able to face him tomorrow? She felt bad for all the awful things she said to him, but he had just ripped her heart in half by what he said. She loved him. She always had. "I thought we were getting better," she choked out. But apparently we weren't, she said to herself. She had thought that he loved her. Or at least, was growing to love her like she loved him. They had everything. They trusted each other, they would die for each other, they were best-friends. At least, that's what I thought, Scully said to herself. She wiped away her tears, and took in a deep breath. She knew what she had to do. She picked up the phone and dialed. The phone rang twice before he answered. "Assistant Director Skinner," the voice came across. "Hello, Skinner?" Scully said shakily. "This is Agent Scully. We have to talk." ******* J. Edgar Hoover Building August 30, 1997 Fox Mulder looked across the room at his petite, red-headed partner as she packed up what few belongings she had in their office. `Their' office. It wasn't `their' office anymore, now it was only Mulder's office. Scully had given Mulder the news after he walked in the office this morning. Scully was already there, packing. "I'm leaving the Bureau, Mulder," she had said. Scully hadn't come to work after their fight, until now. And this would be the last time she would come to work with Mulder. Even though her back was to him, Mulder couldn't help but think to himself how beautiful she was. This morning, she wasn't dressed in her usual business suits, but rather, a dark green turtleneck shirt tucked in to a pair of blue jeans. It was rare for Mulder to see his partner dressed so casually. She's not your partner anymore, Fox, he told himself. It still shocked him to think that. Scully is not my partner, anymore. She would be leaving to God knows where, and he would never see her again. No more, `I'm fine, Mulder', he would never again her laugh, like bells, he would never again see that smile she reserved just for him. He was even going to miss that smirk she had when he was giving her one of his theories. That's what life was going to be like without her. It seemed unbearable. It wasn't supposed to be like this, he thought. We're not supposed to part like this. Not with sadness, and pain. Not when I had so many things left to say. We're not supposed to part after something like what happened yesterday. Oh, God! Mulder cried inside. It's not supposed to be this way! Scully turned around, and Mulder pretended to be busy looking at a file. "Well, Mulder, I guess this is it," Scully said, trying to sound calm. "Yeah," Mulder said. Their eyes met. Scully's big, azure blue eyes had always captivated Mulder. You could see everything she was feeling through them. They were the window to her soul. Today, he saw pain in them, longing, and grief. It hurt him to see her hurt. In turn, Scully saw the same emotions in Mulder's beautiful hazel eyes. Why am I leaving? she asked herself. Maybe he doesn't want me to go. Scully, nevertheless, broke their connection. She looked at the floor. "It's been an interesting four years Mulder," she picked up the box holding her belongings. "Good- bye," she said quietly. "Good-bye, Dana," Mulder said softly. Scully turned towards the door. "Scully," Mulder said stepping towards her. "Yes?" Scully turned around eagerly. "I-" tell her now! he yelled inside. Tell her everything! Tell her that you love her, that you always have. Tell her not to go. Tell her she completes your soul, that you can't live without her. "Um, good-bye," he smiled weakly. You wimp, Mulder! he thought. Scully's face fell. She gave a small wave with her free hand, opened the door, and walked out of the office. And out of my life, Mulder thought. ****** So this is what life is like without Mulder, Scully thought to herself as she drove herself of home. It's awful. She let herself into her apartment, and looked around at the empty boxes she had collected. "Well, let's start packing," she said to herself. While she had been away from work, she had called her mother, asking if she could live with her until she found an apartment and a job someplace else. Her mother said yes right away, and to Dana's relief, didn't ask many questions. But Dana knew that she would be bombarded with them while she was living with her mother. While she was packing, she came across a picture of her and Mulder at a dinner thrown for Skinner. She was wearing a navy blue velvet dress, slightly off the shoulder. It was simple, but decorated with a pin of her mother's, it looked stunning. Her hair was swept up in a French twist, only a few wisps hung around her face. Mulder looked so handsome, Scully's breath was taken away for a moment. He was dressed in a tux, and his usually messed up hair was in place. They were dancing at the time, smiling and laughing at each other's mistakes. They hadn't known the picture had been taken until the photographer handed it to Scully later that evening. Scully smiled sadly, remembering how happy they had been that evening. She placed it in one of the boxes. Scully yawned, and looked at the clock. How'd it get to be midnight? she asked herself. She walked off to her room, and went to bed. ******* September 3, 1997 Dana Scully's apartment As Dana Scully was taping up the last of the boxes, she heard a knock on the door. "Coming," she responded tiredly. She opened the door, and found her mother there. "Hello, Dana!" her mother said, hugging her. "Hi, Mom," Scully replied, her voice lazy from lack of sleep. Mrs. Scully held Dana at arms length, a worried expression on her face. She looked her daughter up and down, and was frightened by how tired she looked. Her usually beautiful hair was unwashed and unstyled, the usual radiance of it's striking red color seemed dull. There were dark circles under her eyes, and she wore no make-up, except for remains of some she forgot to wash off what looked like days ago. Her blue eyes had lost their sparkle, and were masked with fatigue. She was wearing an old sweater with many stains down the front which she had neglected to wash off, and old jeans. "Dana, are you all right?" her mother asked anxiously, leading her towards the couch. "Mom, I'm fine," she replied, leaning heavily into the sofa. "I just haven't slept for the past few nights. I've been packing." Mrs. Scully looked around the apartment, and was startled to find everything packed up. She was astounded that in just three days, Dana had packed up her life and was ready to move on. An alarm went off inside her head. What was she so eager to get away from? "Dana, I came over to help you pack," Mrs. Scully said softly. "You didn't have to do this all by yourself." "I wanted to, Mom," Dana replied, her eyelids drooping. "I just want to- I just want to leave as-" she stopped, her eyelids closing. Mrs. Scully gently helped her daughter off the couch, and led her to the bedroom. It was rare for Mrs. Scully to be allowed to tuck her daughter in, and she took the opportunity eagerly. Once Dana was in bed, Mrs. Scully left the room, and closed the door. She looked around the apartment, still puzzled as to why her daughter was leaving in such a hurry. She didn't want to intrude to much into her daughter's life. She knew, in time, Dana would tell her what was going on. She trusted Dana, and figured that whatever she was doing was the best for her. She found a list titled "Things to Do" on the kitchen counter. Everything was crossed of except for one which simply read: "call movers". Mrs. Scully crossed it off the list, and called the movers herself. ******* September 5, 1997 J. Edgar Hoover Building At the FBI building, Mulder, too, was packing up his belongings. It hurt to much to work in the X- files without Scully. Shortly after Scully came into his life, his search in the X-files took a different path. He didn't necessarily stop looking for Samantha, but his main focus became finding a way to cure Scully. Besides, he loved her. It was the right thing to do. He couldn't live his life without her. These past few days had been awful for him. It wasn't worth it to him to continue his search if it meant losing her. It was a hard decision for him to make, but he felt a sense of relief when he realized it. He felt an emotional burden being lifted from his heart. He would always love Samantha, but in a way, he was putting her to rest. It was time for him to move on, and to pursue what had become the most important person in his life. Mulder snapped his briefcase shut, and shut down his computer. He knew that last thing he had to do. He looked at the file on his desk that read: "Mulder, Samantha". He picked it up and placed it in the filing cabinet. With a heavy "thunk", he closed the door to the cabinet, and locked it one final time. "Goodbye, Samantha," he said quietly. He picked up his suit jacket and briefcase and took one final look around the basement office he had spent so much time in. So much time with absurd cases, and theories. So many wonderful moments spent with Scully. Don't get sappy now, Fox, he thought to himself, You're doing this to get her back. You're doing the right thing. Fox smiled sadly, but reassuringly, and left the office. ******* When Fox drove up to Scully's apartment, he was puzzled as to why all the windows and shutters were closed. Maybe she's just taking a nap, he thought to himself. He walked up to her door and knocked. He waited, but no one answered. He knocked again, louder, and still no one answered. "Scully?" he called. "Are you home?" Still, no one answered. Oh my god, he thought to himself, let her be okay. He turned the doorknob, and was both relieved and frightened to find it unlocked. He stepped inside, and gasped. "Oh, no," he choked out. She was gone. Her apartment was empty. He went through all the rooms, searching for anything, a note, a tape, a list, something that might tell him where she was. After searching the entire apartment, Mulder leaned heavily against the wall, wracked with shock and sadness. "I'm too late," he whispered to himself, as tears started to run down his cheeks. He slowly sat down on the hard wood floor, as the tears came faster. So many tears in these last few days. You can't sit here crying like an idiot, he told himself. You have to find her! Mulder swiped at his tears, and stood up quickly, almost losing his balance. He ran out of her apartment, and started straight to Mrs. Scully's home. ******** Maggie Scully's Home Mrs. Scully sat awestruck as her daughter divulged the details of exactly why she had left in such a hurry. "I can't believe I was so awful to him," Dana said, holding back her tears. Crying wasn't to her liking, even in front of her own mother. "He's devoted his life to finding his sister Samantha, and I just tore him down. Such tenacity should be admired, not made fun of. I'll always regret that." Mrs. Scully sat next to her daughter, fuming after what she had been told. "I can't believe he said those things to you," she said icily. "Mom, it's not-" "No!" she exclaimed. "He had no right to say those things to you. You've given him so much these past years. Dana, don't try to stand up for him this time. Fox- Mulder- was wrong. Nothing can change that." Dana's lower lip began to tremble. She lowered her head. "I can't help it. I love him, Mom," she said, her voice quavery. Mrs. Scully pulled her daughter close, as Dana dissolved into tears. "It'll be all right, Dana," she whispered soothingly. "He's so special to me, Mom. He's my life. I love him more than anything in the world. He completes my soul. I thought that I was special to him too. I thought we were getting better. I thought we were finally falling in love. But then-" Dana couldn't continue. "It hurts when something like this happens. I know the pain of loving someone, and not having them love you back. It's hard being second in the eyes of the one you love," Mrs. Scully said. Dana drew away from her mother. "But that's not it at all," she said. "I mean, he cares about me, Mom. I can see it in him," Scully stopped for a moment, thinking. "You know what, Mom? I'm not second to him. I think he really does care about me. At least, I hope he does. Maybe he didn't mean those things he said," Dana said hopefully. "Sure, sweetheart," Mrs. Scully said, smiling. Dana was taken aback at her mother's sarcasm. Usually her mother would try to believe the best in people. "Look, Mom, I'm gonna go and freshen up a bit," Scully said. Mrs. Scully nodded and headed towards the guest room. When she had shut the door, Mrs. Scully stood, and began pacing around the room. She was so angry that he said those things to her daughter. She really liked Fox, but she would always defend her daughter, even if it meant forgetting Fox. As she was brooding, she heard a knock on the door, and went to answer it. "Yes?" Mrs. Scully answered happily, but her smile immediately disappeared when she saw who was at the door. "Mrs. Scully," Mulder said, tired, but relieved. "Hello, Fox," she said icily, stepping out on the front porch, and closing the door behind her. "How may I help you?" Mulder didn't notice her coldness. "Mrs. Scully, Dana, she's gone," he said hurriedly. "I don't know where she is. She didn't leave a note or anything. Do you know where she is?" "Fox, I'm only going to say this once, so listen carefully," she said with a harshness in her voice unfamiliar to Mulder, "I heard about what happened that day, and I'm appalled and angry at what you said to her. I don't want you to speak with her or pursue her anymore Fox. I want you to let her go. I want you to let her live her life without the fear of being abducted by aliens, and other frightening, life-threatening phenomena!" she paused to take a breath, and then continued in a harsh whisper, "She's given so much, Fox, and it's all gone to waste because of what you said. Stay away from her. Both she and I want you out of her life." Mulder stood there, totally shocked. Jeez, she's not all that innocent either, he thought. What about all those awful things she said to me? Mulder reached into his trenchcoat pocket, took out an envelope, and handed it to Mrs. Scully. "This was for Dana," he said sadly. "I didn't have time to get flowers. If you could just give it to her, *if* you know where she is, I'd really appreciate it." Mulder turned quickly and jogged of the front porch to his car. He started driving, but didn't get very far, his vision got to blurry. Instead, he parked himself far down on the other side of the street. As long as I'm here, I might as well find out if she's here or not, he thought. And he waited. Inside the house, Mrs. Scully was contemplating her actions. You're such a hypocrite, she thought. First you say you won't get involved with your daughter's personal matters, and now you've just rid her of the man she truly loved. Dana stepped out of the bedroom, her hair wet from the shower. Maggie hurriedly stuffed the envelope in her pants pocket. "Did someone come to the door?" Dana asked. "Oh, yes, it was-um- some people from the local church community," Maggie said nervously. "Oh," Dana said. "I know it's silly, but I couldn't help hoping that it was Mulder coming back," Dana sighed. "Oh, well." Dana went back into the bedroom. Mrs. Scully took the envelope out of her pants pocket and opened it, and sat down to read it. She was unaware that Dana had entered the room again. "Mo-" Dana started, but stopped, curious as to what Mrs. Scully was so engrossed in reading. Dana walked quietly up behind her mother, and gasped at what she saw. Mrs. Scully spun around. "Dana!" she exclaimed. "He was here! How could you, Mom!" Dana grabbed the card from her hand, only pausing briefly to look at the beautiful roses on the front, then she continued to read: My Dearest Dana, Words cannot express how sorry I am about what happened that day in the office. I got out of hand. It was wrong of me to say such awful things, especially when I didn't mean a word I said. Dana, you are not the `Ice Queen'. You are so caring and warm to me, something not even my own parents were. You have always stood by me, in times of joy, and in times of need. You are my best-friend, Dana. Please disregard my saying that you meant nothing to me, for you mean everything to me. You complete my soul. You always have. Our connection was evident when I first met you. Though some of what you said to me was harsh, your words helped me realize something. Since you have come into my life, Dana, my search has taken a new path. Now what is most important to me is finding a cure for this disease which has entered your body. When you left, I realized it just wasn't worth it. I need you Dana. I realized when you left, Dana, that it just wasn't worth continuing my search for Samantha if it meant losing you. You're too important to me. I love you, Dana. I always have. In a way, realizing this decision of discontinuing my search has made me a happier man. With Samantha, I did not get the luxury of a funeral. I did not get a ceremony that allowed you to say good-bye, while at the same time signified that it was time to move on with your life. I've decided to put Samantha to rest. To move on. To say good-bye. It's time for me to pursue the most important person in my life now. You, Dana. The one who completes my soul. The one who I will always love. Love, Fox Mulder Tears stung in Dana's eyes. She clutched the letter to her chest. "Where'd he go?" she asked quietly, through her tears. "Dana, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have do-" Mrs. Scully started. "Where'd he go?" Dana asked again. "I don't know, Dana. I saw him drive off in his car. He could be anywhere." Dana ran outside, hoping, praying, that her instinct was right. Oh, please still be here, Mulder, she pleaded. Scully spotted his car, at the same time Mulder spotted her. Mulder's heart leapt when he realized she was holding his letter. "Mulder!" she cried, and started running slowly towards his car. Mulder stepped out of the car right as she arrived. They both paused, and looked into each other's eyes. "Oh, Fox," Scully murmured through her tears. Mulder opened his arms and embraced her. Scully wrapped her arms around his waist crying into his shoulder. "Mulder, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said the things I said that day. I messed up," Scully said. "You mean everything to me. I love you." They stood in each others arms, never wanting to let go. They only did, though, as Mulder gently raised Scully's chin and kissed her. They let everything out in those few seconds. All the love they had kept inside for those past four years, all the hopes and dreams they had for the other. When the kiss ended, they fell back into each other's arms, and stood together, finally united as one. The End ********* Whaddya think??? Please e-mail me at ThrillHouse@msn.com with any comments!! ThanX!!!!