From: "Ulla Ahlmen" Subject: Story submission: INNUENDO (if it's not already archived) Date sent: Fri, 3 Apr 1998 17:35:18 +0300 Title: Innuendo 1-15/15 Author: Heidi Ahlmen E-mail address: heidi.ahlmen@pp2.inet.fi Rating: From G ( most of the series ) to PG ( some parts ) Category: Story, Romance, Angst Spoilers: Throughout the whole series but just certain scenes, no big ones Keywords: Mulder/Scully romance, Scully/other Summary: Scully tries to find a new way to live her life Disclaimer: Chris Carter, the 10-13 productions and Fox Network own Mulder, Scully and Skinner. I'm poor so please don't sue me for using them. Paul Mitchell, Agent Freeman and Agent Danovitch are entirely mine. Missing parts: E-mail the author; heidi.ahlmen@pp2.inet.fi Please notify that English is not my mother tongue so there can be some blammos. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------- **************************************************************************** INNUENDO part 1: Exception **************************************************************************** Assistant Director Skinner was nervous. He had just received a phone call from the special program co-ordinator Marcus Newell. He had created the witness protection, and now there was an agent missing. Newell had asked Skinner to look for an another agent for the job. He knew it was going to be hard, because all the violent crimes section agents had hands full of work. Skinner wiped his glasses and started walking towards the elevators. The doors opemed and a talking agents stepped out, greeting him reluctantly. Skinner was just about to walk to the elevator, when he bumped to someone. Special Agent Dana Scully's papers flew all over the elevator and she started to gather them, mumbling apologies. Skinner smiled to her, and grabbed her arm to pull her up. -Sir? -Agent Scully, are you interested about a special mission? -Depends on the mission, Sir. -Let's go to my office. Take your papers. Scully piled the rest of the raports and followed Skinner to his office. -Agent Scully, are you aware of the FBI's witness protection program? -Not exactly, Sir, but I know there is such. -The program was originally created during the mid-sixties Chicago mafia trials. Its meaning is to protect the keywitnesses that are in danger to get killed because of what they know. The budget gets smaller every year, and they had to discharge some people in January. Now they're in trouble. Scully looked at Skinner. -In trouble? -Yes. A month ago, a pocket thieve walked to the NYPD office and revealed the names of over twenty criminals linked somehow to the Michigan bomb explosion. CIA is suspecting the mafia. These men will be brought to justice soon, but the keywitness is in great danger, as you can imagine. -So, what does this have to do with me, Sir? -Because of the new budgeting, they don't have enough men to carry the duties to protect the witness, so Newell, the project leader, called me this morning. He needs someone really fast. -But Sir, I don't have the skills to take this assignment...... -Take this as a great learning experience and an opportunity to work with professionals. Newell is organizing a safehouse to Chicago, so you need plane tickets. You can ask my secretary to book them. You will need your gun, and a lot of clothes. Don't wear anything that could reveal that you're an FBI agent. You will follow the witness everywhere, and pretend that you're his wife or girlfriend. Somehow related to him. Scully's mouth was open. This wasn't happening. It couldn't. It just couldn't. -Sir, I'm extremely uncomftable with this...... -Is there a problem with Agent Mulder? -No, I don't think so, but still.... -Agent Scully. his has nothing to do with your personal life. You are just going to pretend everything. You will be kept in full-time surveillance. In the house, you don't have to even speak to him. But outside the house, you will be covering him. You are a bodyguard now, Agent Scully. Mulder ran to the corridoor to get some paper before the coffee he had spilled would spoil his raport totally. Scully was returning to their office, and followed Mulder with her gaze. -Mulder, what the devil are you doing?! -I...um...just spilled a bit of coffee.... -Whee, you never fail to amaze me with your stupidity.... Mulder came back with the tissues and gazed to Scully. -What was that all about? Tell uncle Fox. Scully snorted. -Skinner re-assigned me. He attacked me in the elevator. I couldn't stop him. Thank God it's a temporary mission. -What mission? -I'm flying to Chicago. -Chicago?! Why Chicago? -He assigned me to the eyewitness protection program. -You mean you're a bodyguard......? -Yeah. Mulder gazed to Scully for awhile. Then he burst into laughter. Scully looked hurt. -What are you laughing?! You think I'm not capable? Mulder wiped the tears from his eyes, still laughing. -No......Scully, I'm sure you're capable to do anything, but still......You?! A bodyguard?! What are you gonna do to the bad guys, Scully?! Kill them to laugh?! -If you say so, Scully said angrily and turned around on her heels, leaving Mulder laughing. Scully walked out of the plane. It had been a long flight, and her feet refused to co-operate. Skinner had told her that her contacts would be waiting in the terminal dressed to black suits. Scully took a better grip on her suitcase and took a long look to the waiting area. Soon he saw two men waiting near the stairs. Scully walked towards them and wawed her hand, but they didn't show anything that would tell about recognizing her. Scully opened her purse and dug up her FBI I.D card. -Agents Freeman and Danovitch? The two MIB's looked to each other and the other one asked, -Agent Scully?! Scully straightened herself. -Yes, I am. The two agents took their sunglasses off and gave Scully a good look. -Are you really agent Dana Scully from the violent crimes section? Scully was getting a bit annoyed. -Yes I am. -But you are so.........small, the other agent tried to excuse. -Don't evaluate me because of my height. I'm a field agent, and in full duty, working in the X-files. -So you're Mrs. Spooky then. -Don't call me that, Scully said a bit stubbornly. This was going to be hard. -But you work with Spooky Mulder. We've heard about him. -Why don't we just leave the airport and go whereever we were meant to, Scully sighed. *Let's not fight, 'cause we're gonna work together* she added silently. The local FBI office was quite empty the night Scully was going to meet his new "husband". The idea was really bothering her. She had booked a hotel for the night and had enough time to call Mulder. He still hadn't understood why Scully had been assigned. They had both hung up. Scully was feeling a bit light-headed but she just took a couple of aspirin pills and walked to the field office. Tonight she was going to meet the man she was going to try to protect with the other two agents. Danovitch and Freeman were tall and athletic, an most of ll, they were men. Scully knew there was a lot of prejudices to win for her. She sighed while walking the crowded streets of chicago midtown. She knew that his was gonna be a hell of an assignment. *************************************************************** INNUENDO part 2: Crazy Game *************************************************************** The Brooklyn police department was crowded that time at night. Detectives were bringing new badguys in and letting others out. Scully was sitting in the bench near the door and waiting for someone to catch up with him. There was nothing to do except looking around. Suddenly she got an idea. She dug up her purse and picked her cellphone up. He dialed Mulder's number and listened to the alarm signal. -Yeah? -Mulder? -Yeah? -It's me. -I know that. -What's up in D.C.? -Don't try that on me, Scully. -Mulder what are you talking about? -You're in Chicago, right? -Of course I'm in Chicago. -Have you met your guy yet? -No. Why are you acting like a moroon? -I'm not the moroon, Scully.... -Oh very mature. Listen, Mulder I didn't want this assignment, but I ain't got a choice. You've got to understand this. -You could have said Skinner you didn't want it. -You know a hell of a lot better than I that he's helped us so many times we have to give him something, too. This program is in trouble. The budget is getting smaller and smaller..... -That's not your concern, Scully. -Well no but I'm going to take this as an offer to widen my profession. -Scully what's your job exactly? -I watch over a criminal who has information about the bommings in Michigan. -Bodyguards do usually have a role, Scully. -Yes. I......... Scully wasn't sure if he should tell Mulder. He wouldn't like it. He would hate it. Though Scully had always been honest with Mulder. -I don't have any role, Mulder, Scully said feeling guilty. -Well have a great assignment then, Mulder said and hung up. Scully let her phone fall back to the purse. It was imposible to have a conversation with Mulder now. Scully had her suspicions. What if Mulder thought that she had left the X-files? She hadn't and Mulder was too clever to think like that. He knew that this was a temporary aaassignment. She would be back as soon as possible. Suddenly agents Freeman and Danovitch appeared at the officer's desk. Scully gathered her magazine and bag and got up. -Good evening Agent Scully, Freeman greeted reluctantly. -Good evening. Where's our suspect? -He'll be arriving at any minute. Danovitch offered Scully a cup of coffee and she took the mug, sipping the hot liquid. -Is this your precinct? -No, where from the local FBI office. Bad neighbourhood. -I noticed there was a lot of homeless people near my hotel. Why haven't you done anything to that? It seems to be quite a problemo. -There's not time to run after homeless people when serial killers and psychos are behind every tree. How are things going in Washington? -I'd be lying if I'd say well. It's the same everywhere, Scully said and put the mug to the table. Freeman interrupted their socalled discussion. -You've booked a hotel? -Yes, Scully answered. Why was he asking her this? -You won't need it. -And why is that? -Because the safehouse is a safehouse, not some kind of a picnic tent, Agent Scully. -If there's time, I can get a cab and get my bags, Scully sugested. -No. We'll get a cab to do that. From now on you're Miss Katherine Mitchell. -Mitchell? -Yeah. Our suspect, Paul Mitchell is a little nicker, just some K-mart stealings. He's a well-doing engineer from Stevens Mechanics. -And he has some mafia connections? -Yes. He's tellings us that mafia is getting money from the company. -And the mafia knows we got him? -Yeah....There's Paul. He's a really nice man. I'm sure you two will rwally get it on, Freeman said to Scully and blinked an eye to Danovitch. A young man was approaching them. He had short, brown hair and he was a little bit shorter than Mulder. He had playful eyes and a beautiful wide smile. -And who's this pretty woman? You FBI sure know how to entertain your informants, he commanted and kissed Scully's hand. She tried to keep cool but it wasn't easy. -Good evening. I'm special agent Dana Scully from the FBI. You must be Paul. -Obviously, Paul said and nodded towards his hands. A coat was covering his hands and Scully pulled it off. Handcuffs. This man didn't feel like a criminal. Maybe it was because she had used to psychotic and violent serial killers. Freeman started walking towards the outdoor. -Come on, Mitchell. We've got orders to take you to the safehouse emmidiately. -So, Dana, are you coming with us? -Yeah, Scully said, gathering her stuff and following the agents and Paul Mitchell to the Ford Crown Victoria that was waiting next to the police cars. *********************************************** INNUENDO part three: Daydreams *********************************************** Scully got out of the car. It had started to rain when Freeman was picking her bags from the hotel and now her whole outwear was wet. Damn those thin fabric bags. Bless good old samsonite. Paul followed her example and swinged himself up. Scully had never managed to figure out how suspects could come out from cars with handcuffs. 'Maybe Mulder would help me to find out', she thought playfully. Freeman turned the engine down and Danovitch was already carrying their bags to the house. They were now standing outside of a nice, white suburban house, which looked a bit like Scully's apartment at Maryland Street. Maybe she was feeling a little homesick. Paul hurried in after the male agents because it was really pouring. Scully stood in the rain, listening to the silent whizzing of the water... It was like the whole sky was trying to knock her down with its strenght. She caught herself thinking about Mulder again. That guy was always on her mind. The wet streets reminded Scully of her own life. She had so much to be grateful of, she had just recovered from cancer, and they were going fast with the conspiracy thing. But still, it was Mulder's crusade. As she had once said, proving alien's existance wasn't her last dying wish. To Mulder, it was. Last five years had changed her whole life, but to Mulder they were only a path that lead nearer to the truth. Mulder had no toher life, and it didn't bother him. But it sure bothered Scully. She was still a single, but everytime she tried to commit to a relationship, Mulder's restless spirit interrupted her. He was like a poltergeist, haunting everyone who had anything to do with her. He wasn't like the others. Mulder was caring, and loyal, unlike the other guys Scully had spent a night or two with. They had never wanted anything more than a fuck. Scully had made herself believe that it was just what she wanted, too but deep inside she knew she was lying to herself. She actually dreamed about him. Daydreams. If he'd know about them, he'd probably never respect her again. She had this vision of Mulder sitting on her sofa, watching the Knicks game, and her lying on his arms. He was tickling her and it put cold waves down her spine. He kept teasing her, tickling her everywhere, forgetting the Knicks game. They started kissing, every kiss exploded her brain and neural system. She sat to his lap and felt him harden under her...... Scully shaked her head. Just a dream. How she wished for it to be true. Maybe Mulder wasn't like that. Maybe he was like all the other guys, with his videotapes and all. Maybe he didn't even care for Scully that way. She realized she was the only relation in his life. 'It must be sad for him.' She thought. Everytime Scully did something with another man, he just...... He had the look on his face. The look that told her everything. 'Am I not good enough?' His look whispered. She whispered back, coldly but still taking note on him. Then there was that Ed thing. Ed Jerk. Mulder hadn't understood her at all. She had never had the courage to tell him about the night. What they had been doing. Ed was like all the others. Just a quick one, then to bed. Scully had felt very angry and hurt. He had felt like a nice young man. Well, not exactly nice. Dangerous, as to say. Dangerous enough to make her forget everything about Mulder for awhile. Mulder was away from Wsahington, so why shouldn't Scully live some of her life? When she woke in the morning nothing had changed. And then he had tried to kill her.... Mulder. Where are you? ************************************************************ INNUENDO part 4 : Dead Heart ************************************************************ It was still raining. Scully had spent several hours talking about meaningless subjects with Paul. He seemed nice but Scully was too tired to have a real conversation. Agents Freeman and Danovitch had went to get pizza. Scully had asked them to bring a salad for her but they had said nothing. Fortunately she had noticed a packet of cookies in the fridge. She would munch them after she would get rid of Paul. Mulder hadn't called. It was unusual because they normally had several cellphone conversations every day. Scully had been thinking about him a lot. What had made him so angry? Because she hadn't refused to take the assignment? Sometimes Mulder acted like a total asshole. Scully sat up and gazed Paul straight to his hazel brown eyes. They were a bit darker than Mulder's. Paul was talking about his job. Scully blinked her eyes and returned to reality. -Dana....? y Are you listening? -Paul..I'm sorry... Not really. I'm tired. -We can go to bed if you'd like to. -What do you mean with that "we"? Scully gave him an angry look. -I just..Weren't we supposed to be husband and wife? -Bride and fiancee as far as I remember. -What's the difference? I mean, love doesn't depend really on official papers. -Oh doesn't it? -I think not. Have you ever been married? -That's a personal question, Paul. -That's why I'm asking. -No, I haven't been married. Scully hesitated for awhile, wondering if she should tell Paul about Emily. Then she relaxed. it was none of his business. -I was married once, Paul said suddenly. -Oh were you........ Scully yawned. She really wasn't interested. Why was Paul telling this to her? -Paul, why are you telling this? He looked like he didn't understand the question. Scully moved a bit. -I mean, this is just an assignment to me, I'm not going to really spend time with you. -Dana...I thought you'd like to talk with me about stuff. You seemed so nice. Now I see you're cold. An Ice Queen, he said. Scully fliched. She hadn't heard that name from anyone for a long time. -I mean, why aren't you letting anyone near you? I've known you just for a few hours but you still seem so distant. -I'm just tired. -You know I've met many people like you. I was married to one, actually. Scully got up. -You see, Paul...I don't want to listen to this. You know nothing about my life. You know nothing about me, I've been through things you can't even imagine. -You underestimate me, Dana Scully. He grabbed Scully's arm. -Why can't we just talk? I'd love to have a good conversation. You seem really interesting. As a woman. As an FBI agent. As a human beeing. -Paul, have you studied psychology? -In high school. -You seem like a psychologist. -Oh. Scully smiled a bit. -Well, I guess we could talk. I haven't talked to anyone exept my partner in the past few months. -You know Dana you should get a life. Scully sat back to the couch. It was dark in the livingrom. Only the fire in the fireplace lit the corner a bit. -I once tried. They had been talking for hours. Paul had lit some candles and Scully had changed clothes. Freeman and Danovitch were still gone. -They've probably died in a car accident or something, Scully joked. -I wouldn't mind that. -Me neither. -Tell me about your work. What's it like to be an FBI agent? -It's really hard work. I'm also a medical doctor. A pathologist. Paul looked suprised. -A pathologist? Isn't that a bit strange? -What do you mean "strange"? -For a woman? -Not anymore. You men are so old fashion. -Not all of us. Who do you work with? Scully checked her rolex. Half past midnight. -I work with a lot of people. I'm a field agent. At the violent crimes section. -You mentioned earlier you've got a partner. -Yes..... Scully hadn't meant to tell Paul about Mulder. It had slipped through her lips. -What's he like? -He's very......committed to his work. That's what he is. Paul looked strange. -Does he have a name? -Mulder. Fox Mulder. Paul tasted the name. Fox. Weeny name. Poor guy. -Do you work well together? -Sometimes not but usually... -Obviously you don't want to tal about him. Am I right? Scully bit her lower lip. Paul's hand touched her thigh. Scully moved a bit. -I'm sorry. -No, don't be...Paul, sometimes I feel like I'm lost. My life doesn't go on. It just stays still. Once I rebelled but it was a real mistake. Sometimes I'd just like to have someone who I could talk to. -Don't you have friends? -Old high scholl classmates only. They ever call me. I don't call them. Work is my life. -Is that what you call a life? Scully looked sad. Paul had reached the sore point. -I just want to see other kind of life. I want to find a meaning. When I was sick I thought living was the meaning of life... Now I know better. If your life sucks it doesn't matter if you're dead or alive. Sometimes I feel like I'm dead. A zombie. -You were sick? In what way? -What.......? Oh, I just... It's a long story. I almost died. I've "almost died" million times. -Your life has excitement. -Yeah, too much. I haven't loved anyone for a long time. My life is so full of death and anger and pain sometimes I can't--..... Scully turned away and got up. She walked to the bedroom- She didn't want Paul to see her like that. She didn't want Paul to see her crying because of the life she was living. ************************************************* INNUENDO part five: Fading ************************************************* Scully yawned. She and Paul had been sitting and talking for five hours. It had really been a nice experience to her. She had let all her secrets out and told Paul things she could never imagine telling Mulder. Freeman and Danovitch had returned two hours earlier and went to bed. They were sleeping in the second floor. -Paul, listen....I'm getting really tired. Can't we go to bed? -Sure, Dana. Hey, have you any idea how long it's gonna take before the trial? -Maybe just a couple of days, a week, two weeks...The prosecutor is trying to shorten the process. -Have you ever been accused for a crime? I know it's a personal question, but still... -It's okay. I haven't been prosecuted in sivil court. I was actually put to prison because of contempt of the congress. Paul laughed. He obviously wasn't sure if he wanted to believe. -I was, Scully said. -You were? But why? You don't really seem like a criminal. -Talk for yourself, Paul... I lied to a senate subcommittee because they were going to kill my partner. -You really like your partner, Paul said, looking down. -Not in...that way, Scully said, uncertain if she believed it herself. -Have you ever loved anyone "that" way, Dana? -Once...I don't know. -You must know. -I..I know it sounds really strange, but no. I don't know. -Don't take this as an offence but you really seem to be lost with your life. Scully looked at Paul. How could he know it so well? It was like he was reading her thoughts. Obviously he talked from experience. -Dana, you're like a bird that has just learned to fly. Sometimes you do really scary things and sometimes you can't think about anything else than falling down. Scully laughed a bit. -You speek like a poet. Suddenly she flinched. She had once stumbled upon a serial killer who also had a heart of a poet and who killed women by sucking their....fat tissue. -What is it? -Nothing...Really, I'm fine. Scully knew she was telling a lie again. The nightmares of her past were haunting her again. Many agents dreamed about the criminals they were trying to catch but Scully had never experienced such dreams. She only had "blanks" when some of the memories came back. Life is funny. When you've lived alone for a long time, you seem to see perfect love everywhere except in your life. You start to really long after someone to touch you, to love you, to want you...Make you feel you belong to the world as a full person, not like somebody who has never experienced life as good as it can get. Sometimes Scully felt like she wanted to go hangliding, learn to fly, make wild love to someone... She had felt that after she had found out about the cancer. Now the cancer was gone but the need was still there, eating her alive. She was tired to wake up every morning, alone. She was tired to go to the office and start smalltalk with Mulder. How she wished Mulder would love her. How she wished anyone would love her. She laughed. She was thinking like a little bitch. It wasn't her fault. Or was it? Maybe she just hadn't take the chances when life offered her one. She had never did anything crazy. Or irrational. That wasn't Scully. But deep inside her there was a primal need, a female tiger who needed to be fed. Scully looked at Paul. He was going to soon leave his past life. Kiss his past good-bye. A sad thought to him. Scully felt really sorry for the guy. It was an assignment. Scully could destroy her whole career by screwing it up. But did she have a career? No. Mulder had ruined her whole reputation as a hard-boiled science woman. Now she was only Mrs. Spooky. Her whole life was as assignment. When she succeeded she got a plus to her papers but still she was living with a fear. If she examined her whole life as a full circle she saw one thing. Her life wasn't going to get any worse than this. If she had nothing to lose, why couldn't she just take the chance? *************************************************** INNUENDO part six: Rivers Run Dry *************************************************** The Moon was still shining in the first hours of the morning. Scully sat up in her bed, listening to the sounds of the night. If she listened carefully, she could hear Paul breathing in the next room. She hadn't slept a lot. Scully curled deeper to her bed and looked out of the window. A lonely car passed the traffic circle. She combed her hair with her hands. Her fire-coloured hair was starting to look a bit dull. She hadn't had a shower for three days. The curtains were moving silently. The rain had stopped and the clouds had sailed away. Scully jumped up. She put her woolly coat on and opened the door. She sneaked down the stairs. Then she silently opened the outdoor and went out. She knew it was dangerous, but noone would notice her this time at night. She was feeling a bit unsafe but she managed to convince herself that noone would notice her. She put her hands to the pockets and found her cellphone. She checked her watch. It was five o'clock in the morning. That would be.....eleven o'clock in Washington D.C. She dialed a number. -Yeah? -Mulder? Is that you? -Well this is my cellphone as far as I know. Scully smiled. Once Mulder, always Mulder. -How are you doing? -Fine. Your mother called me. I told you've moved to Alaska. -What?! Mulder what's the matter with you? Can't you talk to me like an adult? Why do you have to act like an angry five-year old? -Oh that's a really nice thing to say. -MULDER! -Listen, Scully, I've gotta hell of a lot of work here... -No, Mulder. We're going to talk this through now. And I mean now. -Okay. Scully could almost see Mulder shrugging. Scully soothened her tone a bit. -Mulder tell me what's the matter? I didn't leave the X-files. I'm only staying here for a week. -A week? -You don't really know a lot about the program, huh....? -Um...... -Mulder. -Don't play mom on me, Scully. You do whatever you like. I do whatever I like. If you think that's a good partnership then that's what it will be. As you wish, ma'am. -Listen to yourself, Mr. Ditcher. -I've never ditched you! -Yeah, right....Very funny. -Scully......This isn't going anywhere. We'll talk after you've returned. -Go on, Mulder. Play your stupid jealousy games. -Jealousy games?! Scully covered her mouth with her hand. Where had that come from? -Whatever. -Fine. -Fine. -Fine. Have fun there in Chicago. -Thank you. I will. Scully listened to the alarm signal. It was getting harder and harder. Maybe he was right. Maybe it would be better if they would talk after she had returned. At least Mulder couldn't hung up then. Scully still didn't understand what had happened between them. Was it just the assignment? It couldn't be. Not just that. They were both stressed, they had no other life than the one in the FBI....The list went on and on. But still, they should understand each other's problems. So what the fuck was the matter? Scully needed to talk to someone. To someone who would know what to do. She dialed her mother's number. -Scully, Margareth speaking? -Hi mom. -Hi, Dana! I've been trying to reach you! Where are you? -On assignment. Did Mulder tell you anything? -No, he just joked that you had moved to Nebraska or something, Margareth laughed. -Mom, I'm in trouble. -Tell me, honey. In what kind of a trouble? Scully felt her voice breaking. Mulder was her best friend....And something much more. -I....I had a fight with Mulder. -No wonder. He didn't behave very nice when I called him. What did you fight about? -He just...He just doesn't understand things. He doesn't understand why I took this assignment. -He's probably as sorry as you are, Dana. Most men just can't apologise. Your father never did. -Don't say bad things about dead people, mom, Scully teased. -Who's talking? As far as I remember you CUT dead people. -I'm just trying to give them some justice, Scully giggled. -Okay, let's get serious, Margareth said, still laughing. -Mom, what should I do with Mulder? -Don't try to talk with him now. Think about the situation first, try to figure out who's wrong. Remember it can be you. Or not. When you came back to Washington, talk with him. Fox is such a nice man. It would be a real pity if you two couldn't figure this out. Scully didn't answer. -I'll call you later, mom. Okay? -Okay. Take care, Dana. Click. Scully put the phone back to her pocket. She felt strange. She wanted to call everyone she had ever met. She wanted to talk to everyone. She wanted to talk to Mulder. And to Paul. She didn't know which one was better. Paul understood her but Mulder.....Mulder knew more about her than anyone. Scully went back in, locking the door. She went back upstairs and took her coat off. She dug up her walkman and a cassette. It was too dark to read the label so she just slipped it into the player and pressed play. Mulder's Aerosmith tape. He always spread his things everywhere. `So many ashes are scattered So many rivers run dry Sometimes your Heaven is Hell and you don't know why So listen Where do fallen angels go I just don't know Where do fallen angles go They just keep on falling, falling, falling.....` Real Mulderstuff. Scully turned the volume down but kept listening. Mulder's taste was a bit weird. Scully laughed. The words fit pretty well to his life. "Heaven is Hell and you don't know why". Suddenly she realized she was laughing at Mulder. She was doing a thing she had swore she'd never do. Could their partnership be the same ever again? ***************************************************** INNUENDO part seven: Grocery Dance ***************************************************** The sun was going down. the last shades of daylight lit the sky to its glory. Scully looked out of the window and saw all the colours of the spectrum. First shadows were already dancing in her eyes. Like they had danced through the whole assignment. Freeman and Danovitch were going to do some grocery shopping soon. She would have to spend the whole evening with Paul, as usual. There was nothing wrong with Paul. She just wanted to get out a bit. Now she really understood how much she missed Washington D.C. Missed Mulder. Missed their work, their time together. Paul appeared behind her. Scully got up and walked past him towards the hall. Freeman was putting his coat on. -Hey, Dana. -Hi. Listen, could I do the groceries? I need to get out of here. There's nothing to do. -The menace of waiting, Freeman said, laughing. -I've been sitting here for four days. -You know it's not possible for you to go. -I can take care of myself. I'm an FBI agent. -I know that, but still. We have to play by the rules. -Come on, Freeman. I won't tell anyone, Scully said, flirting a bit. Danovitch came to the hall, eating a sandwitch. -What's up, he asked, munching the tuna salad sandwitch. -Dana wants to do the shopping. -Why not? Hey partner, I know what's it like to wait. Let her go. Freeman looked down, and threw Scully the car keys. Jack's Best Shopping Mall was full of people this time in the evening. Scully parked the car to the only free parking lot she could find after fifteen minutes of searching. She locked the doors and walked in. Suddenly someone hit her and she fell down. -Hey watch it! The runner was a young boy. Three guards were chasing him and one of them stopped to check Scully was okay. -I'm very sorry, Miss. Are you all right? After Scully had gotten back to her feet, she answered, -I'm okay. You go get him. Scully looked back. the two guards had caught the teenager. He had obviously stold something. Scully walked to the shop and stopped at the bread aisle. There was an empty cart and she took it. Scully walked around at the bread aisle and finally picked up a package of white, soft toast. Then she grabbed some hotdog buns for Danovitch. The shop was full of people trying to find something to eat that evening. Scully joined their senseless running and stressing. They were like a bunch of bees, trying to do the day's work before it was too late. Like they were doing some kind of a grocery dance. Scully turned her cart around and went to get some milk. The fat-free was sold out so she took the next one. She got a strange idea. She grabbed two packages of Creamy Fudge Chocolate Ice-Cream and went to the next aisle. Grabbing some tomatoes and other vegetables she zigzagged through the people. The lines were long, and the tired people were getting cranky because of it. Scully turned her cart and took her place in a short line. After she had paid she sighed and carried her bags outside. Paul was watching TV when she got back. Danovitch and Freeman were playing black jack and she decided to join them. After she had lost twenty bucks she quit and went to watch a movie with Paul. -What's the plot? -Well we have Sylvester Stallone and a bomb set to a traffic tunnel..Sounds great, huh? -I've never found out why all men love action movies. -You mean you don't like them? -They are watchable but I don't like them. -Have you ever seen one? Paul was obviously in a cranky mood so Scully decided to shut up and go to bed. While washing her teeth she thought about that evening. The people at the mall. It had looked so strange when everyone was trying to do the shopping and go home without caring about everyone else. After thinking about her choices, sitting alone in her room or go and spend some quality time with the agents, she decided to go back to the livingroom. Grocery dance. And she was dancing the main role. ************************************************************ INNUENDO part eight: Sharp As A Razor ************************************************************ Scully sat down to the bench. She wasn't really interested on going back in because the guys had rented a video called "Striptease" and Scully wasn't so interested about it. She checked her watch. Her mom wouldn't probably be in bed yet. She climbed upstairs to get her cellphone but stopped in her room door. Paul was there, digging her suitcase. -What are you doing, Scully asked, her voice irritated and loud. Paul gasped and turned to see her. -I was just....Looking for my book. Have you seen it anywhere? -What book? -"The Lord Of Rings". -I didn't think you could be a Tolkien-type of guy, Paul. -I'm not. -So how come you're reading it? -My first girlfriend gave it to me when I was in high school. -You know Paul that's a lousy excuse for exploring my underware. -I noticed you've got quite a collection, Dana. -Stop it, Paul. What were you really doing? Scully crossed her arms to her breasts. Paul took a step closer. -We had a bet. Scully bursted to laughter. -A bet?! About what? -That I could steal your underware and you wouldn't notice. Scully wasn't laughing anymore. This was outrageus. -That means you lose. Paul smiled diabolically. He had definitely something in mind. -What makes you think that, Agent Scully? I bet that you would notice. -You wicked man. You knew I would notice you snooping around in my room. -That's why I did it. They both stayed in their positions, Paul in the middle of the room, Scully at the doorway. Someone yelled downstairs; -Hey Paul! Did you get it? -Not yet, Paul yelled. Scully massaged her neck. -Is this the end of the conversation? I'm waiting for an apology, Mr. Mitchell. -I'm not going to say sorry because I know you're not upset. I see it in your eyes. He was right. In some twisted way it was a compliment. -Come on, Paul! You sound like a Lionel Richie song! Now get outta here and go win your bet. I was going to call my mother. -See you later. -See you, Scully said, spitting the words out of his mouth as quick as possible. She sat down her bed and dialed her mother's number. -Scully, Margareth speaking? -Hi mom it's me. -Dana! What a nice surprise! How are you doing? -I'm fine. The trial is the day after tomorrow. I'll be flying home soon. -Have you liked it so far? -No. Not really. It's not hard but it's extremely boring. Scully sighed. Mom would ask it sooner or later. `What are you actually doing?' -What are you actually doing? -Mom this time I can't tell you that. Margareth Scully laughed. She had got used to Dana telling her very little about her job. Maybe it was some kind of a conspiracy thing again. Fox loved them. h Of course she was a bit worried becauseer daughter sounded so tired. -Have you slept enough? You sound pretty pooped up, Dana. -Well it's quiet here but I haven't actually slept a lot. There's something wrong with my room's heater. -I'm sorry to hear that. You need a vacation after you get back. -I'll be happy to get back. -Who are you working with? -Two guys, they're from FBI's Chicago field office. Typical male agents. -So you like them, huh? -No. Or yes. I don't know. I don't know them well. -Well...Take care, Dana. I need to stop now. I promised to call your brother. He broke his ankle yesterday when he was shawing. Scully made a sound of disbelief. -How can someone break his ankle while shawing?! -Well Tara had just taken a shower and when Charlie was reaching for aftershawe he slipped in the wet floor. You know boys, when they get sick they need to be coped like they are dying, Margareth sighed. -I know. Well, good night mom. See you in a couple of days. -I hope so. Take care, Dana. -I will, Scully mumbled. She just hated people fussing about her. They both hung up at the same time and Scully shut her cellphone. Noone would probably call her that night. Thank God there was only two more days to go. She was still feeling homesick. Mulder hadn't called. Maybe it was the best. They would clear everything out when she would get back to Washington D.C. Hopefully. ******************************************************************** INNUENDO part nine: Be Still My Beating Heart ******************************************************************** Mulder threw a pile of paper to the floor. Where the fuck was the Stevens case file? Scully would find it. If only she would be there. Mulder wiped sweat off his forehead and kept on looking. Skinner had got mad to him because of the raport. Where was Scully when he needed her? In Chicago. On special assignment. At least she could have asked him. She always accused him for ditching HER. Miss Ditcher herself. Mulder dipped the chair over and checked under it. Just a package of napkins and a half-eaten bag of sunflower seeds- they wouldn't help him now. He stopped, hands on his waist. He sat down to the chair and buried his head with his hands. Why did Scully have to go? He knew it was childish and stupid to be angry at Scully but he couldn't help it. Everytime she left he couldn't take care of her anymore. Watch over her. Mulder wanted to be her guardian angel. He needed to be her guardian angel. She was so little. Little and spicy. It made him turn on every time she made clear she hated Mulder's fussing about her. She was so.....stubbornly sexy. He loved her, no doubt about it. He loved it not in theordinary way but....he loved her as Scully. It was something he had never experienced before. It was like the love stories seen on TV...and a lot more. Before Scully had appeared in his life all women had been just sex objects to him. Scully was that, too. But Mulder didn't have any intentions about her. He just wanted her to stay in his life, without these "soul searching" journeys. She never told him about them. Like the Ed whatever thing. Scully had never revealed anything about it. But he knew. He knew about the tattoo. What he would never tell her was that he had seen it when she had once came out of the shower, scratching her arm. He had seen half of it that time. It wasn't Scully-like. Mulder still didn't understand it. Was Scully ashamed of it? Maybe. How the hell could he know?! She never told him anything and that's what was bugging him. The "I'm fine" -thing. Fuck. She was far away from "fine". At the beginning of their partnership Mulder had took it as a joke, but now it didn't make him laugh anymore. It made him angry. It was Scully's own little private lie. Her protective shield. Mulder raved silently and kept on looking. The last day. Scully sighed in relief and put a couple of things to her bag for the next day's flight. It wasn't late yet but still she wanted to start packing. The nearer the trial came, the more she was worried. Would Mulder still be angry? He was acting so childish. It was none of her business. Or was it? Was Mulder worth it? Was it time to find out if he was Scully's only chance to be loved? Scully threw her sweatshirt to the suitcase and danced the stairs down. To celebrate the last evening of her not-so-nice assignment she had put on a beautiful, short, black dress--the same dress she had wore when he had seen Mulder the first time. It had been a halloween party at the headquarters and Scully had went there with Colton. They weren't really dating, Colton had just asked her and she had said yes because he was the only one who had intentions to go with her. Colton had spent the whole evening talking with his friends from the violent crimes section and introduced Scully to everyone. Scully had been bored, and she just drank orange juice and listened to Colton's and his friend's conversation. Then she heard them saying something about "Spooky". She had asked them what they were talking about. Colton had waved his hand to a young, boyish agent in the other side of the lobby and told her he was "Spooky" Mulder, a weirdo from the basement who worked for the FBI because he wanted to chase ghosts and vampires. Scully had laughed and felt a bit sorry for the guy who had such interests. Mulder had came to the party alone, and noone wanted to dance with him. Not even Sclly. He wasn't interested about weirdos. Paul was watching TV as usual. -Hi, paul. Last night, huh, Scully sighed, looking out of the window. It was getting dark. -Yeah. By the way, Freeman and Danovitch are out. They're spending the night in the city because they have a meeting about their next assignment and it will take so long. We'll be spending the naigh all by ourselves. Did his voice sound seductive or was it just her overdriving imagination? He went on. -Listen, Dana, it's been really nice to know you. -You don't have to forget me, Paul, Scully whispered. -Yes I do. But I won't. You're going back to D.C. -Yeah, Scully said, feeling a bit unsure if she was as happy as she had declared to her mother. -Listen, Dana, I need to tell you something.......... Scully bit her lower lip. What was he thinking? Dana, stop it. You can't. What would Mulder say about that...? Dana, don't make a revenge to him. He didn't do....Did he? She had to be sure. Last night. Last chance. It was all up to her. What if...? Why not...? "Get a life, Scully" "Mrs.Spooky"....... The words and thought started to haunt her. What was she going to say? paul was waiting. Tension. It was tension. Could she? Last night........? Mulder......? She had to be sure. -Paul, wait a second, Scully shouted over her shoulder as she climbed the stairs up. -Fox Mulder? -It's me Mulder. -Oh there are you. I thought someone had probably eaten you because you haven't lectured me for awhile....... Blahblahblah. He was attacking her. She couldn't hear the words. She just listened to his angry tone. In some funny way she was happy for his raving. But she was hurt, too. Was it right to hurt him even more? Maybe he was just stressed and lonely? No. No. No. No. Or was he? Dana, you're losing control. You're leaving tomorrow. Dana, don't......But still, her heart argued as his sense tried to keep her calm. -Last night. Last chance. Mulder was angry. He would never know. Just this once. She needed to know. Could she? No more hiding. She had already told him everything. Now she cuold explain everything by showing him what was burning inside her. Hellfire. Paul was....... Mulder was........ The last chance, her desperate heart said. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. ************************************************** INNUENDO part ten: Talking In Her Sleep ************************************************** No more thinking. No more rational behaviour. That was fuckin enough for Scully. She had been left out of everything past these five years with Mulder. Left out of getting a life. Left out of dancing and committing serious relationships..... Her only fantasies had been about Mulder. She had spent too much time dreaming about mind-blowing sex with him. It was mind-blowing enough to look at him at the office, see his stretchened muscles under his skin. It was driving Scully out of her mind. She wasn't sure if it was all about Mulder. Maybe it was just her need to be loved. But if it was, why was she having second thoughts involving his reaction? Why was she having them now? It was time, and she knew it. She had wasted her whole life for being a good agent, thinking twice before saying or doing anything. Everybody just seemed to forgot she was a human. A woman. A woman with fears, needs and love to give to somebody. If it wasn't Mulder then it would be somebody else. She noticed she was still trying to convince herself she was doing the right thing. Maybe she was too dependant on Mulder. Let the tethers lose, Dana. She was still having second thoughts. -Dana? Are you okay? Scully hesitated for awhile and then started unpacking her bag. There was something she needed now. -I'm okay. Paul. She turned her bag over. There it was. The red dress and the heels. She didn't know why she had dragged them to Chicago. Now she knew. It had been an innuendo. She didn't believe in those things, but still. Or maybe innuendo wasn't the right word. She had known it in some funny way. Scully put on her highest heels and the short, headturning dress. She walked in front of the mirror. Mother nature had been kind to her in some ways. Her hair was thick and shiny, her legs short but in shape. Her waist was as flat as it could be. Her breasts were raised by the bra and though they weren't in the size of Pamela Anderson they still made men look at her. Scully walked the stairs down. She surprised when she noticed that Paul had also changed clothes. He was wearing jeans and a T-shirt besides of his casual suit. Scully stopped halfway down the stairs and her mouth twisted two a suggestive smile, in unison with Paul's light grin, he didn't grin like Mulder did. Paul jumped up and Scully walked to the livingroom. -Last night in Chicago, huh, Paul commented, still looking straight at Scully. She smiled and her lips gathered blood. She couldn't help staring at his lips. -Last night, she said. They were both still standing. -Well, Dana, have you any idea what you can do in an empty, dark house? -For the last night? -Especially. Scully moved her heel a bit. Paul noticed it and followed her legs with his gaze. Maybe he wasn't a real gentleman when it came to women, but he sure was dangerous enough to be charming. She pushed a lock of hair back and said; -You can put candles on and dance and let tomorrow wait. -Is that what you want, Dana? -Yes, she whispered. -Dana, we're both adults. We can skip the dancing part. -I haven't danced with anyone for a year Paul. Silently he shrugged and put a record on. Scully started laughing after she heard the first notes. So that's where the Aerosmith tape had disappeared a couple of hours ago when she was trying to find it. Paul smiled to her widely and took her hand to his own. Scully put her arm around his shoulder and leaned on his body. Scully knew he was looking at her, smelling the scent of her perfume, getting to know her body. I'm down a one night street With a one night stand With one track mind Out in no man's land The punishment sometimes don't seem To fit the crime There's a hole in my soul That's been killing me forever It's a place where a garden never grows There's a hole in my sould Yeah I should have known better `Cause your love is like thorn without a rose Scully stopped. Mulder's tape. "Hole in my soul". Why was everything reminding about him? Oh fuck. -Paul, stop the tape. Paul looked at her. -Something wrong? -No, it's just. Come on, Paul, we both now where we're heading right now. Stop the record. Paul stopped it and looked at Scully. So beautiful. So strong. So passionate. Point of no return-----passed. He was quick. Quicker than any man Scully had ever seen. He had simply tore her clothes off. No seductive games, no teasing. No soul searching. Their bodies fit together as well as a man and a woman do. He was big. Vivid. As they tangled together to reach the highest point of pleasure Scully felt tomorrow was miles away. Miles away from nowhere. Now she knew what she had did wrong. She had been afraid to love Mulder. It had cost her so much. she wouldn't do the same mistake anymore. This was Paul, the man who had just entered her, waiting for her to come. Mulder was so far. But he still existed. That night Scully knew that whatever she would miss with Mulder she would get back. Paul had taught her this. Maybe she had started to even love Paul. Who knows. Her feelings were so complicated. When everyone else knew if they were in love, in Scully's mind there was just arrogant little things that told her something was changing. That night Heaven came closer to her. But Mulder was still angry. If he was angry maybe it wasn't such a good idea to go back. Maybe she should just follow Paul and get a life, as many people had adviced her. She hoped everything would clear out in hte morning. Maybe she should go with Paul. What wa it with Mulder anyway? Why worry about the future when present is nearer? Maybe because you need to live them both. ******************************************************** INNUENDO part eleven: Gestalt ******************************************************** I small nightlamp lit the bedroom. Actually the lamp wasn't very bright because it had been covered with pantyhose. Scully and Paul were lying in the bed, naked, Scully curled under his arm. She smelled the scent of his cigaret and curled more tightly near him. She raised her eyes, and saw the pants again, hanging from the lamp. -You know, Paul, your decoration style is kinda tacky, she giggled and Paul answered her by kissing her forehead. Scully saw the clouds of smoke floating in the air and tried to catch one of them with her toe. -What are you doing? -Ummm......Just nothing. Paul? -Yeah, Dana? -You know there's been awhile from my last time. -Awhile? It was half-an-hour ago, if I may remid you. Paul sit up and squeezed her more tightly. -I don't mean us, but my last time. -What about it? -It was when I was in Quantico. -Why are you telling me this, Dana? -Because I want to. -Listen, I know you don't like the question but do you have something ongoing with your partner? -No. We have nothing ongoing, Scully said, the words almost suffocating her as a lie she would never have wanted to say. -It's such a shame a pretty girl like you. Scully hit his jaw playfully. -Dana......Is there any part of you that would not like to go back to Washington D.C. A part that would want to go with me? -Yes, she whispered. -Then you should listen to that small piece. -Do you know the song; "Take Another Piece Of My Heart"? -Hardly. It's beautiful as far as I remember. -You've got good taste, Paul. -So what about the song? -Not about the song...About the question. I don't know. I think about my life a lot. The other half of me says that there must me something better. And the other part who usually wins says I should go back, because you'll never guess what life figures out. -That's a good philosophy. I've followed that a long time ago when I got married with Verona. -Verona's your wife then? -Ex, actually. She was safe, unexciting, and gave me the opportunity to have kids, a suburban house and normal life. As first I thought I liked it but then I got bored. You know the drill. I knew I needed some excitement. That's what made me get connected to the mafia in the first place. I wanted to be a part of something big. At times, it grew bigger and bigger and one morning I noticed it was far too big. But I couldn't get out of it so I walked to the police and here I am. -When did you get divorced? -A year ago. Scully nodded and then interrupted him. -My life has been too dramatic, too exciting. Aliens and sewer booboos, nightmares and weird people, kidnappings and strange human beings. Psychopatic killers and serial rapists. -Nuff said, Dana. You sure don't have to time to get bored. -I don't. That also stops me for getting a life. My partner's work is his life. My life is......it's like I'm living his life. My life's like a comedy serie without any funny jokes. I'm predictable. Hard-working. Cool. I want to be a human, not the usual "Robot Agent Scully". -You know that's sad, Paul said, stroking her hair and dumping the cigaret to the floor. -Don't burn the whole house, Paul. -You deserve so much better. -I don't know about that one. -You do. -Maybe I do but I have to hink about my future, too. It's no use spending a moment of joy and pleasure when the rest of you're life will be a disaster. It's just a too big prize for me to pay. -Do you want to predict the future rather than live it and see what's coming? You're always worrying so much. Doesn't it make you sick? It's like you're living in future. Scully wondered why she let Paul say such things about her. Maybe because he was right. -Maybe I should think about your offer. -Pleas do. Think about your life as a path. -That's harmonical, Paul. Maybe she should think about it. Who knows. Still she couldn't forget one thing. The thing was called Fox William Mulder. Was she ready to throw away everything because of Paul, or was she going to try to save the bits and pieces of her present life? Cuts both ways. ****************************************************** INNUENDO part twelve: Dissonance ****************************************************** First hours of the morning. They always seemed so distant and unreal, fog floating above the grass, the whole world wrapped into a grey cloth. Scully turned to her other side and saw Paul sleeping, his chest rising on every breath. Scully pressed her face to his chest, feeling the scent of his aftershave, the smell she had come very familiar with. How she wished she could stay like that forever. With him. With somebody. With Mulder. Why was she always thinking about Mulder? He was like a restless spirit chasing her. Or maybe he was her angel. At least he felt like one sometimes. Many times. Still lying in Paul's arms Scully remembered her first vision of him after her missing time. She was not able to see him that moment, but still he came to her memory, time after time, keeping her sane in her silent prison. Her lifeless body. Mulder had never lost hope. He had known she would came back. Alive. As she had told him, his beliefs gave her the strenght she had needed to come back. She owned so much to Mulder. But he didn't just seem to think about it that way. He was alwys shotting his insane theories, ignoring Scully's longing eyes. Without looking to the mirror she knew her eyes were like bottomless pools of neediness. For him. She had wondered so long if he felt the same way. She just couldn't ask him. She was scared. Scared like hell. What if he would just ignore it? Laugh to her? That would break her already broken heart. Actually she had never had a heart at all. Maybe someone had ripped it off her when she grew up. She had had affairs, of course. Senseless, dangerous relationships with strange people. The question was, did she really love Paul as Paul, not as just somenone who hadn't refused top love her? What if he just wanted to get the last victory before leaving his former life? Maybe she had once again been used as a doll. A raggedy-Ann. A Raggedy-Dana. It fit so well she felt like crying. She gathered all her courage and sit up to see what time it was. They still had an hour before Freeman and Danovitch would come and pick them up. Two hours before Scully would clean off the smuts of Chicago from her feet and walk to the plane. She shook Paul a bit. No reaction. Another shake, a bit harder. -Wh......Dana.......Let me sleep, please.... -Nonono, Paul. We need to get up. Freeman and Danovitch will be here in an hour. -Fuck. -True. -I hope you don't have any second thoughts about last night? -No, I don't. So, nothing lasts forever. Have you thought about it? -Paul...I'm just.....I'm between fire and water. I'll drown anyway. I don't know.... -Let me decide it for you. -You can't do that. If I only would have time to think about it. -You've still got an hour. -Don't stress me. -Sorry. Have you packed ready? Scully turned around and got up from the bed. Next to the door lied her bags, packed and ready to go. She felt even more sad. Or was it just that she didn't know whether to go back or stay with Paul. -Dana Scully. My Dana Scully, Paul said, stroking her cheek. She said nothing, just stood there gazing out of tthe window. 'Oh please don't say it, Paul, I can't hear it now.` She thought as he kept on caressing her face. 'Oh please, Paul don't tell me you love me.' The O'Hare airport was full even early in the morning. Danovitch and Freeman had been extremely reluctant to let Paul walk Scully to the gate but after a few minute's fight they had gave up. Most of the men usually noticed soon that you better not mess up with a Scully-woman. Though he was still handcuffed. Scully didn't even see the cuffs anymore, they didn't seem important anymore. The most important thing was the person cuffed by them. Paul Mitchell. He gaze was still asking her if she would come with him. Start a new life. Maybe a couple of kids. Maybe. The road she would walk if choosing Paul was so full of "maybes". Maybe this. Maybe that. The road walked with Mulder would also be full of "maybes", but at least she knew a litlle bit for what to expect. There she was, walking in the terminal with the two agents and Paul. Freeman shook hands with her and Danovitch did the same as well. -It's been a pleasure working with you, Agent Scully. -The same to you, too. I'd still say this wasn't one of my best assignmetns but still I was lucky to have the opportunity to work with you, Scully said, silently, looking at Paul. They couldn't express their feelings when the agents were watching. They would probably get her fired for this. As far as nobody knew it was okay. An announcement came from the system. "Flight 203 to Washington D.C. leaving in five minutes. All passengers to gate three." Scully grabbed her bags and smiled weekly. Why was it so hard? Freeman and Danovitch started to walking towards the outdoors but Paul stopped. -Dana, I'm sorry this had to happen. -Me, too, she whispered. -Dana, you can still stay. You can still start a new life... -I can't, she whispered so quietly he couldn't hear it. -Excuse me? -I can't, Paul. I'm sorry I can't. I just can't......Scully mumbled and started walking towards gate three. She didn't look back. She didn't want Paul to see her eyes, the bottomsless pools of sorrow, again filled with tears. It was over. Goodbye Paul. Oh how she wished that the return to Washington wouldn't make her realize she had done the wrong thing. Goodbye Chicago, the city of broken hearts. ----------------------------------- Universe inside of your heart You gotta let me know So you can be free baby You wanted it so much And now that it's over You don't know what you want Put time in a capsule Two minds consensual Entwined to perfection, if we could..... Savage garden ------------------------------------ *************************************************** INNUENDO part thirteen: Dance With The Shadows *************************************************** ------------------------------------ When you are born you're afraid of the darkness And then you're afraid of the light But I'm not afraid when I dance with my shadow ------------------------------------ Scully had fell asleep during the flight and her feet were aching badly, It was because of the pressure. She woke up suddenly when the air hostess shook her shoulder gently. -Miss, I'm sorry to wake you up but we're landing to Washington D.C. in ten minutes. Scully sat straight up and ran a hand through her hair. -Thank you. The hostess went to her way and Scully fastened her seat belt. The other passengers did it as well and Scully heard a litlle girl crying behind her. She turned to see what was wrong. Obviously the little girl's mother had went somewhere, and now she was alone and obviously afraid when the plane started the landing. -Hey sweetie, what's your name, Scully asked. Whimpering, the little girl looked up to her. -Megan. -Hello, megan. Is this your first flight? -Yeah, but mommy...Mommy went to the...to the toilet and....... -Have you fastened your belt? We're going to alnd pretty soon, Scully asked helpfully. -No, I can't find the other part, the little girl said, obviously calming down a bit. She put her hand between the seats and tried to dig the lock up. Scully saw the she wasn't succeding so she unfastened her own belt and stood up. The plane was swinging a bit but she managed to step closer and grab the little girl. She sat back to her seat, fastened her belt and put the little Megan sitting in her lap. -What's your name, she asked, taking a better position on her lap. -My name is Dana. I live here in Washington. -I'm going to see daddy, Megan declared proudly. -That's nice, Scully said, smiling. They both looked out of the window and saw the runway coming nearer and nearer.... Megan's mother came from the toilet. She gort scared when she didn't see her little daughter sitting in her seat but calmed down when Scully pulled her sleeve. -You'd better sit down. Megan's here. She couldn't find the other part of the seat belt so I grabbed her. -Oh thank you. The toilet door got stuck and well, you can probably guess the rest. I'm Suzanne Reiser. Nice to meet you. You've probably met Megan, the woman said, banding over the seat to stroke Megan's cheek. -I'm Dana Scully. Do you work here in D.C.? -No, me and Megan live in Chicago but her father lives here. What about you? -I work in the FBI headquarters. -You're an FBI agent? Isn't that a bit strange for a woman? -No, actually almost half of the agents are women. -Listen, don't get hurt but you seem so....little. Scully smiled. Megan interrupted her. -Have you got a big gun, Dana? Have you? Mrs. Reiser and Scully laughed. Scully looked at Megan. -I've got a really BIG gun what I use to catch bad guys. Hey Megan, look, we're landing. It was still dark in Washington D.C. as they walked down the plane stairs. Megan and her mother headed for the taxi station and Scully started walking towards the terminal. Little Megan waved at her and her mother smiled. Scully waved back and gathered her things. Mulder was standing near the outdoors. It was a surprise to her because she really hadn't suspected he would come and pick her up. It was nice of him. She really wasn't in a mood to catch a taxi. She dropped her bags to the linoleum floor. Mulder grinned at her. Scully smiled vaguely. -Hi, Mulder, she said tiredly. -Hi, Scully. Long flight? -Yeah. My feet are dying. -You know you should try some cream or something, he joked, eyes still a bit angry. Scully laughed. No hug, but still Mulder was ready to forget their fight and make her feel welcome. She felt suddenly warm. -Let me help you with those, Mulder said and grabbed al of her bags. -It was really nice of you to come and pick me up. How come did you know I was coming with the six fifty plane? -I called the airport yesterday. You had reserved your seat through the bureau so it was also on Skinner's computer. -Please tell me you didn't hack into it. -I didn't. You know I actually asked him. -Great. Let's go, Mulder. I need a shower. -I'm afraid that's not okay. We have to be in Skinner's office in half-an hour. Maybe he wants to give you a warm welcome. -My butt's burning already, mulder, Scully commented and followed him. She had did the right thing. Probably. Only time would show it. Mulder still felt a bit tense. Like dancing with the shadows inside his mind, trying to fight back the bad feelings for her. Still fighting not to spit curses to her face. Scully knew it. Under the grin were feelings she didn't even want to know about. They would clear their things soon. If she would be able to forget Paul. ******************************************************* INNUENDO part fourteen: Holding Her Wings Down ******************************************************* Mulder's walkman was playing Aerosmith so loud Scully could hear every single note. The sound of rock and roll filled the little office, annoying Scully and causing her to makes typos. She was finishing a rapport Mulder just hadn't written. He hadn't just been in the mood. When was he anyway. Always chasing his goob-headed aliens and grotesque monsters. He didn't need a life. Scully looked up at Mulder. He was sitting in his chair, muching sunflowerseeds and mumbling like he was having an Aerosmith-sing-along. His lousy singing really started to irritate Scully.Then he put his legs to the desk and loosened his tie. That was it. -Mulder! -Huh? He wasn't really interested what Scully had in mind but he was at least polite enough to answer her. -Take those off! -Take what off? Are you coming on to me, Scully? -No you idiot. Stop the cassette. Mulder shrugged, grinning at her. He took the earplugs off and turned to face her. -What's up? -That noise is driving me nuts, Mulder. Can't you turn the volume down a bit? -Why? he asked, munching those cursed seeds. She tried to relax and cool off a bit but with no success. -Because I want you to, Mulder. -Boy your nerves are really strained today. -Don't try that psychological crap on me, Mulder. He raised his hands for peace. -Come on, Scully. That was just a joke. -I know your sick sense of humor. -Scully where is this coming from? He started to spin around in his chair slowly, stopping every once in awhile to grin at her. -You're a lazy, weird son-of-a-bitch I have to work with. That's where it comes from. -Scully what's wrong? I'm sorry if I annoyed you with the cassette but as I just said I'm sorry. You can't get that mad for a loud-playing walkman, huh Scully? -It's a wonder I haven't gotten mad for you more often past these few years. -Five and a half-years, Scully. That's not practically " a few years". -Five years, one year, what the fuck does it matter? -It does matter to me, Scully. He looked a bit sad. Why was Scully so angry? What had he done wrong again? -I always thought you were my friend, Scully, he continued, putting on the little puppy face that usually melt her. -Oh you're breaking my heart, Mulder, she said sarcastically, grabbed her coat and walked out. Fox Mulder was standing alone in his office, eyes focused on the doorway. What had he done? What was the matter with Scully? Actually, he wanted to be angry at her. He needed to. but he couldn't. Not without knowing why she was so tense. Scully. The ice maiden, who always put up a certain wall of feelings when something was wrong. He wanted to talk. he wasn't sure if Scully wanted it, too, but obviously she needed a long chat. He knew what he had to do. Wonder if Skinner was in his office...? FBI Assistant Director Walter Skinner looked up to the Bill Clinton photograph he had hanging on his wall. The guy looked so peaceful and relaxed with all his problems. He had nerves of Mohatme Gadhi. Skinner sighed and continued signing the assignment raports he had on his desk, piling up higher every day. He needed some change to his routines. Spooky had been a quiet guy the last few months. No conspiracy theories, no vanishing acts, no strange questions. He really missed the X-files team. of course he knew Scully had returned to work but it would be quite strange to call her up just to chat a bit. Especially when Skinner knew what kind of rumours were circling. Especially about Mulder. He startled when her phone rang. It was her secretary. -What is it, Marcy? -Agent Mulder is here to see you, Sir. Skinner smiled. Telepathy. -Send him in, he said. The door opened and Mulder stepped in. -Good morning, Sir. -Good morning Agent Mulder. What brings you here? -I'm sorry to disturd you, Sir, but.... -You're not disturbing me, Agent Mulder, Skinner said, making a chain of paperclips. -So, what's up down in the basement? Scully's back in the X-files, huh? -Yes..And that is my matter. She's a bit furious about something and I don't know what so I'm asking the rest of the day off to clear out this conflict. Skinner laughed. -You know Mulder you're like a schoolboy. Always ready to the war. If there's anything wrong between you two please go ahead. I don't think I'll be needing you two any more today, he laughed. Mulder grinned politely. Good thing he had caught Skinner on one of his good moods. Scully was sitting in the cafeteria, sipping his coffee and eating her bagel, taking small bites. Anything to make her coffee break longer. Mulder was right. She was irritated and she didn't even know why. Maybe she was just tired. It was her first day at work after the assignment with.....Paul. Was he still holding her wings? Why was it so hard? She really shouldn't take out her bad mood on Mulder. It wasn't fair. But still, she didn't know how to approach him. Then she saw him. Shit. Oh no. Shitshitshit. He was coming right towards her. Why now...... -Hey Scully, good thing you're still here. -Where would I possibly go? -We need to talk and I don't want to do it with the cranky Scully. Scully took a deep breath. God he was good. He was so good with her. What had she done to get him? He was too good to be true. What was the point in sighing after Paul when she had Mulder. -I'm sorry, she whispered. 'I'm sorry becuase I acted so stupid.' Unsaid. -For what? -For being hard on you. -You're not playing hard on me, Scully. I know you. Everyone has bad days. -I know. But still, usually YOU are apologizing me. -That's what I live for. She smiled for the first time after Chicago. A real smile that lit her face to its warm glory. ******************************************************** INNUENDO part fifteen: Endless Line ******************************************************** The pouring rain composed music to the dusty streets of Washington D.C. It had started half an hour ago, suprising everyone. It had been a glorious sunshine that morning and noone had wasted time for packing an umbrella. People were running inside from the pouring rain using coats, bags and newspapers for temporary rain covers. Scully and Mulder were still sitting in the empty cafeteria, Scully staring out of the window, trying to figure out what to say and Mulder just swinging his hands, busy doing nothing. Scully turned her blue gaze into her coffee, turning the plate under her cup. -Scully? Mulder decided to broke the awkward silence between them. -Yeah? -What's the matter? -I'm fine, Mulder. Really. Mulder looked deep in her eyes and Scully could see into his memories, his soul, his anxiety. He grabbed her wrist gently. -Scully. You're not. That's the lie I've been listening for the past five years. I don't want to hear it anymore. Not so long time ago it was your way to tell me to shut up. This time you won't get rid of me that easy. Scully let her gaze fall down to the table, following a wrinkle in the cloth. She could feel Mulder's eyes looking at her. Those caring, charming, passionate eyes that had been looking at her for five years. Those pools of emptiness and desperation, those windows of soul filled with hope and persistence. That was Mulder. Her Mulder. Scully looked up. -Remember when I told you we are walking in an 'endless line'? -Yeah. I didn't quite agree. We've learned so much, found so much.... I still don't agree. -But I never told you if I liked it, Scully said, enjoying the suspicion that had suddenly appeared in his eyes. -So do you? he asked silently, his voice like a whisper, a plea. He was afraid of what Scully might say. -Mulder.... She shook her head, smile caressing her face. His eyes were like lazer. -I love it, she said, raising her eyes back to his level. -A year ago I took it as critique. Scully bit her lower lip. -We are an X-file, Mulder. That made him laugh. -No, Scully. LIFE is an X-file. -So, are we going to sit here the whole day? We've got work to do. -Yes, we have............ Mulder said but pulled her arm when she stood up and started walking towards the stairs. -Not that kind of work. Skinner re-assigned us for today. Scully lowered her eyebrows. What was this all about? -He's giving us a day off. Let's go out somewhere. -It's raining. -It hasn't stopped us before right Scully? -Never, Scully said, remembering a certain night in Oregon, at the graveyard. Suddenly all the memories made sense. The bar night in rural Virginia, dancing....... The lonely nights spent in hospitals, the other one's life in danger.... His voice in her private darkness after Duane Barry........ His touch after Penny had died...... "If there's ice tea in that bag......" Why did she even had talked to Paul? Who was Paul anyway............. Mulder threw her her coat and led her out to the rain. Neither of them mentioned taking the car so they just started walking down the Pennsylvania Avenue towards the National Gallery. Mulder had opened his umbrella. It was big enough for them both. -So, what about that cafe over there? I'd really like some cappuccino, Mulder. -Can't we just......walk? -But it's raining, Scully said, sticking her hand over the edge of the umbrella, heavy raindrops landing on her hand. -Are you still hanging on that old one, Scully? Mulder asked, making both of them laugh. -Of course we can walk, she said, grabbing the arm Mulder offered her. -You're in a gentleman mood I notice. -Nothing I wouldn't do for my partner, he teased, shaking the umbrella so much that most of the water dipped over to Scully's heels. -Hey watch it! She squaked. -Sorry. I forgot. 'Never mess with a Scully woman`. -Correct. Hey Mulder look! She pointed out to the western sky. A small rainbow was shining above the river. -You sure don't see a lot of those these days, he commented, raising the umbrella so they could see it better. -It's because of the pollution. There's so much factories outside D.C. the chemical gases usually..... -Shh.... Mulder said, raising his finger to her soft lips. Scully smiled. She decided not to go on. -Did you know Scully they say that when there's a rainbow an angel is smiling. -It must be a beautiful angel, Scully said, looking at the big, clear bow that was already fading. -It has your eyes, Scully, Mulder said and let the umbrella fall down as they kissed. After their lips' sweet touch they both remained quiet, looking into each other's eyes. Mulder closed the umbrella and let the rain fall down to their faces, wetting her hair and his suit. They kept on walking down the street as the raindrops continued drawing patterns to the grey asphalt. THE END **************************************************************************** **** I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy I'll be your hope I'll be your love I'll be everything that you need I love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do I will be strong I will be faithful 'cos I'm counting on a new beginning A reason for living A deeper meaning I want to stand with you in a mountain I want to bathe with you in the sea I want to lay like this forever Until the sky falls down on me.......... Savage garden ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- All comments to Heidi Ahlmen, address: heidi.ahlmen@pp2.inet.fi Missing parts? Send an E-mail to the same address.