Date sent: Sat, 1 Nov 1997 16:11:50 -0500 From: Margi Kleinjan <100343.166@compuserve.com> To: gossamer project <submissions@x-philes.com> Title: Hopeless Author: Margi Kleinjan Rating: R Classification: SR Spoilers: Tempus Fugit Keywords: Mulder/Scully romance Summary: Skinner and Krycek unwittingly play cupid. Disclaimer: I don't own Mulder or Scully or Skinner or Krycek, as you may have guessed. Lucky old Chris Carter and 1013 and Fox own them. Feedback: To <100343,166@compuserve.com>, please. Spoilers: Tiny little Tempus Fugit spoiler, and references to Dod Kalm and Home. Nothing major, so don't be put off, unless you're a Pendrell fan. Notes: I've discovered that if you're ever stuck for a fanfic idea, a holiday someplace cold and conversations about Bill Pullman will always help. Add a few fanfiction cliches, et voila! Dedication: To Missy, whose conversations with me, and film-fests with Anna-Karin (Run Forrest, run!), inspired me to write this. It's her fault. <g> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Hopeless By Margi Kleinjan *~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Winter 1998, Wednesday afternoon Scully stood outside Skinner's office like a teen rebel caught smoking behind the geography block would stand outside the principal's office, waiting for the stern voice to call her in. She leaned against the wall, avoiding eye contact with Kimberly and nervously clenching and unclenching her fists. Skinner had called Mulder and her down to see him. But he was speaking to them seperately. Scully waited for the authority's voice, secretly worrying what was going to be said to her, but never letting down her usual countenance of SuperHuman Scully. But it was Mulder, leaving the office after his own little meeting with Skinner, who told her to go in. Scully tried to read the look on his face for the split second before she turned to enter. He was wearing a slight smirk, but looked a little bit uncomfortable, and seemed relieved to be out of the office. Scully found herself sitting in the chair opposite Skinner's desk before she realised she'd even walked through the door. "Agent Scully." Skinner's voice was like glass. "Do you know why you've been called in here?" "Well, I assume it's to do with the fact that Krycek...." "Scully...." Skinner cut her off. "This is to do with you and Agent Mulder, and a certain amount of... tension in the workplace lately. I'm sure you've heard the rumours circulating recently?" "Baseless..." Scully began, but Skinner cut her off again. "I don't expect you to give me any other answer in the situation; you know the bureau rules concerning relationships." Scully frowned. "Sir, am I to understand that you believe Agent Mulder and I are...." "I'm not accusing you of anything, Agent Scully." Skinner paused and gave a little cough, and shifted in his seat a bit. "Off the record, though, I feel I should ask you a question. You're not obligated to answer, but I think you should answer truthfully, should you choose to." "I'll try, sir." Scully said, with a little apprehension in her voice. "Should the situation be presented to you, would you consider persuing a romantic or sexual relationship with Agent Mulder?" Skinner sounded like he was reading from a script. He'd probably said the same thing to Mulder, and afterwards, Scully wondered if he'd been rehearsing it. But as she sat there, rooted to the spot and mortified beyond belief, she felt herself flush, and her legs went numb and cold. She stammered slightly. "You're not obligated to answer." He repeated. "Are you going to, Agent Scully?" It took a while for the words to register in Scully's brain, but when she tried to speak, her throat felt dry. "Uh.... Uh, well...." She managed. Skinner was getting uncomfortable now, which was actually a little comfort to her. But not much. "Well, ass... assuming you're talking hypothetically, and without our jobs in mind, then I.... I... would say, no. I find it highly unlikely I would love Agent Mulder in any way other than platonic." Skinner took a deep breath. "Thank-you." He said. "Now, about Krycek....." It was as much as Scully could cope with not to burst into a fit of senseless, fatuous and downright mortified tears of embarrassment and shock. But she bit hard on the inside of her cheek, and tried to stop the fuzziness in her ears. "That's all, Agent Scully. Sorry." Skinner mumbled and Scully staggered out of the office. Mulder was waiting for her outside, and the sight of him made her stop being Just Dana, and returned to SuperHuman Scully mode. "Are you ready to go? I'll drop you off at your place first and you can pack, and then I'll pick you up." "Sorry?" "The case? Didn't Skinner tell you?" "Uh, yeah. I just faded out a bit." "He caught you out with that relationship thing, huh?" Scully smiled faintly and nodded the tiniest little nod that only Mulder would notice. "So, what's the case?" "Well, they've seen Krycek living somewhere up east. We get a full week of stakeout, and then we can arrest him if he's doing something suspicious. You'll need seven days clothes, and...." Mulder stuck his hands in his pockets and began to walk away. "....I hope you can swim, Scully." "What?" "Never mind." "Mulder, tell me. What did you mean by that?" Scully followed Mulder down the corridor and out to the carpark, but he said no more about it. *~*~*~* That night "It's smaller than I imagined." "It's a boat." "Krycek's chosen a waterside home. I hope there's enough room inside." "It's a boat." "You're a navy brat, aren't you Scully?" "Don't get me wrong, Mulder, I love boats. It's just... small. And it's the middle of winter." "Oh now Scully, I'm sure we'll find a way to keep warm." Mulder said, throwing his bag onto the deck and climbing aboard. "Need a hand?" He asked Scully as she approached the waters edge. "I'm fine." She said, boarding the boat. She remembered Skinner's earlier question, and her lie for an answer, and blushed. She hoped Mulder didn't notice. "Where's Krycek staying?" "I got a map somewhere." Mulder answered, climbing inside the cabin. Scully followed him in. "See? It's not that small, is it?" He reassured her. "Got the map?" "Yeah, it's just here. So what did you say to Skinner?" "Hmm?" The question surprised Scully, and she accidentally slipped off the bunk she wasn't quite balanced on. As she picked herself up, Mulder asked, "When he asked you The Big Question. What happened?" "If you want to know my answer, then you'll have to wait until I'm dead and buried." Scully said. "That's fair enough. But you don't get to know my answer." "Okay." Scully agreed, somewhat reluctantly. It was only fair, she told herself, but a tiny part of her wanted desperately to know what Mulder thought of her. *~*~*~* Early hours of Thursday morning Mulder lay awake, freezing under his sheets, and trying to find a comfortable position in which he could warm his toes up and fall asleep again. "Scully." He whispered. "What?" "Are you awake?" "Shut up Mulder, this isn't camp. I'm trying to sleep." "Are you entirely sensible?" "Not even slightly." "Tell me what you answered to Skinner's question." "Fuck off, Mulder. I'm *that* sensible." "Sorry." "Okay. Goodnight." "It's morning." "Shut up." "Okay." *~*~*~* Later that same morning Scully woke up to the sound of the cabin door banging against the doorframe in the wind. "It's cold!" She yelled. "Sorry." Mulder was outside, clutching a pair of binoculars. "Hey Scully, Krycek's up." Scully pulled her robe on and crawled out onto the deck. "What's he doing?" She asked, her eyes still blurry with sleep, but her body fully awoken by the shock of the cold. "Eating breakfast. I'm hungry, Scully." "Did you bring any food?" "Sunflower seeds. And half a chocolate brownie I found in the back of my fridge. Hey! We were in a rush!" He defended himself as Scully gave him one of her Looks. "Well you'll have to find some other food, 'cause that chocolate brownie won't last me a long time." Scully said, clambering back inside, shutting the door *properly* behind her. She vaguely remembered speaking to Mulder in the middle of the night, but it was difficult to remember what they had talked about. Crawling back into bed, defeated by the cold, she lay back into just the right position so she could watch Mulder watching Krycek. Camp. She definitely remembered saying something about camp, but she couldn't quite recall. Reality was mixed with a thousand confusing dreams which filled her senses every single night, and she occasionally found herself wanting to continue conversations with the real Mulder, that the Mulder in her head had started while she slept. Scully pulled the duvet up to her chin, and realised she had been holding her breath. She hoped that Skinner hadn't been pulling a secret lie detector test on her when they were in the office. She wondered what Mulder had answered to The Big Question. She decided she would be offended if he'd answered the same as her - the way Mulder looked at women wasn't really that selective. But then, she'd answered no when she meant yes. What else could she have said? Skinner certainly wouldn't have let her continue to work with Mulder if she'd said that she wanted to... This started off a whole other chain of thoughts and Scully clutched the blanket tightly with her trembling fingers as she forced herself to remember why she was there. She reached over and pulled the blind down, and started to get dressed. Her clothes had been packed at random in a hurry and she only had a tiny vague memory of what she'd actually brought. She found a big, thick green sweater which she usually only wore when nobody would see her. But it was warm, and Scully was cold. A match made in heaven. Fully dressed, Scully poked her head out of the cabin again. "What's he doing now?" She asked, joining Mulder crosslegged, staring out across the water. "He's reading his paper. He's just left half a bowl of cornflakes." Mulder said hungrily, licking his lips. Watching him, Scully suppressed a whimper and curled her knees up to her chin. "Hungry, Mulder?" "Mmm hmm." "You want me to go into town, get some *real* food?" "Would you?" "I'll be back soon." *~*~*~* Later on Mulder turned to look back inland and saw a small figure wearing an oversized sweater, and struggling with a box of groceries. "I'll take those." He said, as she reached the jetty. "Thanks. So how's Krycek?" "He's fine. He's watching TV. I wonder what's on." Mulder said wistfully. "Never mind that. Anything suspicious?" "No. I think Skinner's just sending us on a wild goose chase to get us out and about a bit more." "Oh, you're right. Our job is normally so monotonous and indoorsy." Scully said sarcastically as she climbed aboard. "What food did you get?" "Normal stuff. Bread, milk, butter, chips, cheese, chocolate - nothing much." "Well, maybe we should eat out some." Scully ignored that comment and took up the binoculars. "Hey, he's talking on the phone. Have we tapped his line?" "No." "Well, maybe we should." "Okay. What's he doing now?" "He's still on the phone - don't you ever feel guilty watching people on stakeouts?" "No. Well, not when it's Krycek." "Hmm. I'm hungry. Take the binoculars." *~*~*~* Thursday, early evening "Can I have a chip, Scully?" Scully looked up from the blank space she'd been staring at. "Hmm?" "What are you thinking?" Mulder asked, taking the bag from her hands. "Nothing. I was just remembering our previous experiences on boats." "Don't worry, I brought plenty of Evian." Mulder smiled, not at his own joke, but at the smile it brought to Scully's face. "Sculleeee?" "What?" "What did you answer to Skinner?" "Ask me some other time, Mulder. Preferably when I'm drunk and stupid." "Did I see beer in that box you bought?" Scully smiled. "Yes. But not enough to even get me mildly tipsy, I promise." "So one won't hurt, then?" "One." Scully agreed. "What about you?" "I don't drink." "Just one." "My mom used to warn me about women like you. 'Just say no', she said." "I hate to drink alone." Scully said persuasively. Mulder paused, "Okay. Just one then." *~*~*~* Friday morning Scully opened one eye, wondering where she was. She could see her bunk, empty and the bedclothes in disarray. She wondered why she wasn't in it. Sitting up, her head met a ceiling of sorts. Far too low, she thought, groggily, as she remembered she'd been drinking the night before. On exploration, she discovered she was lying underneath Mulder's bunk. Mulder wasn't in the bunk, it seemed - he was outside. "Hey, look who's up." "You're considerably bright eyed." Scully muttered, burying her chin in her sweatshirt. "Well, I'm not the one who finished off five out of a six pack last night. Someone can't hold their beer very well, can they?" "I don't normally drink that much, you know." "I know." Mulder said. "I should have stopped you, shouldn't I?" "Well, this is the middle of a potentially important case. Speaking of which, what's Krycek doing at the moment?" "Well, I haven't actually seen him today. I'm not sure where he is or what he's doing. I called Skinner, to keep him updated - are you okay, Scully?" "Yeah, I was just wondering... what did we talk about last night?" "Nothing." Mulder said, looking away. "Mulder, just tell me." Scully said impatiently. "Really, nothing. You were pretty much out of it." Mulder smiled at the memory. "But you didn't anything revealing, if that's what you mean." Scully breathed, relieved. "So, what's on the agenda for today?" "Well, I thought - just for a change - that we could sit out in the freezing cold weather, staring at a criminal through second rate bureau binoculars." "Sounds great." Scully said. "You want me to take a shift now? I need to wake up a bit and you look like you've been out here for ages." "Okay. I'll just be inside if you need me." Mulder shut the cabin door. Scully let out the biggest sigh she'd ever released in her life. "I need you." She whispered, somewhat pathetically in her own opinion, and closed her eyes. *~*~*~* When Scully woke up, Mulder was handing her her coat. "Scully, we got some action. Krycek's got company." "Huh?" "Put your coat on, we gotta follow Krycek." Scully clambered to her feet. "What's going on?" Mulder leaned in and spoke slowly. "Krycek - is - leaving - with - somebody. We gotta follow him." "Okay. Where's he going?" "We won't know until we follow." Mulder said. "Get into the car." Scully silently did as she was told. "How long was I asleep for?" "I'm not sure." Mulder said, starting the car. "But I was out there with you for nearly and hour and you were asleep when I got out there. Feeling better?" "Much." "Hey, there's Krycek." Mulder said, gently swerving the car in behind the shiny red rental car with Krycek and his mysterious friend in the front seats. It was just starting to get dark, and Mulder and Scully followed Krycek through the town centre. "Where's he going?" Mulder muttered to himself. Scully gasped and her eyes lit up. "He's going there!" "The bowling alley?" "No, no look. Open air ice skating." "Ice skating? *Krycek*?" "Who's he with?" "I don't know. Do you think maybe Krycek has a date?" "It's plausible. I mean, he's no hunchback of Notre Dame, is he?" "Why, Miss Scully, I do believe you have a crush on Mr Krycek." Mulder said with an amused smile. Scully smiled back. She knew she was getting into dangerous territory, but she was enjoying it. She decided to just sit back and enjoy the ride. "Is that a hint of jealousy I hear in your voice, Mr. Mulder?" She asked. "Do you *want* me to be jealous?" Mulder took a dive straight into the crap. Scully raised her eyebrows. "This isn't about me. This is about *you*." "No, it's about *you*, and what you said to Skinner." "Oh Mulder, let it go, will you?" "Okay. But will you answer one question truthfully?" "That entirely depends on the question." "Did you answer Skinner truthfully?" Scully paused, reflecting over a possible answer. "Well..." She said slowly. "If I tell you that I answered untruthfully, then you can presume that I told him no, since there's no reason why I'd tell him I wanted to sleep with you if I didn't. But if I told you that I answered truthfully, then you have no way of knowing for certain what I told Skinner, considering that I could have told him either answer truthfully, and you can't deduce just from my answer to you whether I told him yes or no." "That's not answering my question." "I told the truth." Scully said, hoping her voice didn't give her lie away. "What did you tell him?" "Mulder!" Scully raised her eyes to heaven. "Shouldn't we be watching Krycek?" "Oh Scully, he's just on a date. Nothing sinister. So, you told the truth, huh?" "You know, truth is a tricky thing." Scully said. "How do we really know what the truth is? Maybe what we think to be the truth is just what our mind is telling us is the truth - only what we want to be the truth, and not what actually is." "That's cleared a lot of things up for me, thanks, Scully." Mulder said with a frown. "Hey! You wanna go skating?" "Oh, no. Not today." "Come on, Mulder, it'll be fun." "No Scully." But Scully had already got out of the car. Mulder climbed out and spoke to Scully across the roof. "Why not?" "Because it's cold." "You'll warm up. You'll be moving about." Scully walked over to the desk and asked for the boots. Mulder followed over. "How do you know my shoe size?" He asked as she passed him the boots. "I don't know." Scully shrugged. "It's just one of those things I know. Get your boots on." "You amaze me." "Isn't that what that guy said to Winona Ryder in that film?" "Possibly. How come you don't want to skate?" "Oh Scully, I'm a *horrible* skater. I have *no* sense of balance - please don't make me." "I'm not exactly brilliant either. But I'll help you. Come on, we never have much fun, do we?" "Sure we do, Scully. Remember that time we got stuck in the pigpen? That was kinda fun. And when we went out for your birthday last year. That was fun." "Mulder, that was the night Pendrell got shot. That *wasn't* fun." "Okay, so maybe that wasn't very fun." "You're going to skate with me." Scully said, finishing lacing her boots and starting to lace up Mulder's for him. When she was done, she rose to her feet and took Mulder's hand. "Come on." "Oh Scully." "You'll never learn if you don't try." Scully said, already on the ice. Mulder cautiously put one foot onto the white ice, and then the next one joined it. Scully took his other hand, and started to move backwards. "Erk... Scully..." "Bend your legs a little." She said. "You really can't skate, can you?" "Rub it in Scully, why don't you." "Sorry. Hey, see, it's easy." Scully said, letting go of Mulder for a split second before they both realised they couldn't stand up alone. Scully grabbed Mulder and steadied herself, and for just the smallest moment, they thought they were balanced. Mulder fell, and Scully's attempts to save him and herself worked at first, but concluded with the pair of them falling in the opposite direction, and lying, bruised and wet on the icy surface. "Aw, Scully, looks like you spoke too soon." Mulder said, sitting up. "So, uh, how do we stand up?" "Well, I'll stand up first, and then I'll help you up." "Okay." They found that this was easier said than done. "Hey!" Scully yelped, as she finally found her balance. "Mind where you're putting your hands!" "Sorry." Mulder muttered. "I'm too cold to be polite. Give me your hands." "Okay." she gasped, pulling Mulder to his feet. "Now. See what everyone else is doing.... you have to kick your foot out behind you like this, and keep moving." "Scully," Mulder said, from the safety of the side railings, "You think I don't know that? You think I haven't watched people skating like that all my life? I *can't* skate, Scully." "Sure you can. You just have to put what you know in theory into practice." Scully momentarily lost her balance again, but remained vertical. "See, not even I'm perfect." She said. "Of course you are, Scully." Mulder reassured her. "Now help me." Scully paused for a moment before reaching out for Mulder's hand, and pulling him out into the rink. "I bet you can make it all the way around without falling over." "Your blind optimism is very refreshing, Scully." "Shut up, Mulder." Scully said, speeding up. "Hey!" There was a small part of Scully which was screaming 'to hell with dignity. Throw yourself down right there into that ice with him again and have some *fun* for once in your life.' But the rest of her was helping Mulder learn to skate, which seemed important to him. There was a small part of Mulder that wanted to learn how to skate. He wanted to be able to do this one thing which Scully seemed to enjoy so much. But if he could skate on his own two feet, then he probably wouldn't get so much contact with Scully. And even if she thought he was a really slow learner, or she was a really bad teacher; he was feeling a little too selfish to let go just yet. Krycek was having the worst date of his life. Or at least, the worst date of his life had just ended on a very sour note. He sat at the side of the ice rink, eating a cheeseburger and slurping on a soda, and watching the feet of the people - mostly couples - who were going around and around the ice. He was mostly staring blankly, not much taking in what he was looking at, and he had not noticed Mulder and Scully. "You're getting better." Scully said. "I'm not." Mulder said hopefully. "Yeah you are." Mulder proved his point by falling over, taking Scully with him. "See." He said. Scully was enjoying the fact that they were lying so close, even if her limbs hurt and her clothes were wet. "You're a fool." She whispered. For a moment, her face felt hot as she gazed up, deep into his eyes. But then people started to get a bit annoyed that the pair of them were just lying in the way, so she averted her gaze and struggled to her feet. "Do you want to get something to eat? A burger or something?" "Sure, okay." Mulder agreed, and they awkwardly skated around the outside of the rink, and left it by the fast food counter. "Two burgers please." Scully ordered, taking money from her coat pocket. She handed one of the greasy, paper wrapped 'delicacies' to Mulder. "Thanks. You wanna sit down?" "Are we going to skate more after we've eaten?" "I don't know, do *you* want to?" "Well, I am pretty tired. Maybe we should just go back to the boat. Unless you really want to continue this lesson - only I don't think I can take the strain any more." She smiled. ~Yeah, and *he's* the fool~ "Okay. Bon appetite, Scully. Scully?" "Sssh. Get your head down." "What? Why?" "It's Krycek - he's just over there." "So?" "Well! What if he sees us here and then tells Skinner? It's just the kind of thing he'd do. And after that little inquest in his office the other day, I don't think he's going to just dismiss it." "Well what do you suggest we do?" "Follow me." Scully took her burger in one hand, and crawled really low along the row of tables surrounding the rink. Mulder followed, and soon they were out in the carpark. "Well that was stupid." "Let's just get back." Scully said. "I need a rest." "Okay." *~*~*~* Later that night "Hey, can I come in? Are you decent? It's freezing out here." "Yeah, sorry. Come in." Scully opened the door to the cabin and Mulder clumsily found his way in and into bed. Scully climbed into her own bed and began to read. "Thanks for teaching me to skate today, Scully." "It's okay Mulder, you needed the help. Anyway, I enjoyed myself." Mulder rewarded her with a smile, and she felt her heart melt. Never once losing eye contact, she put her book away, and slid down in the bed, slowly and seductively. Then, very, very slowly, she ran her tongue over her bottom lip. She wasn't quite sure what she was doing, but she was definitely sure her brain was no longer operating from her head. She gave the tiniest moan as she shifted into a more comfortable position on the undersized bunk, and couldn't help wishing she'd brought some of her more... interesting nightwear. The pyjamas she had chosen weren't exactly revealing, but by the way Mulder's eyes were scanning her, she guessed they were flattering. And although she was enjoying the hungry look on Mulder's face, Scully decided she should probably stop herself while she still could, a decision she was immensely proud of in the situation. "G'night, Mulder." She said, dimming the light and closing her eyes. She lay perfectly still, half her brain wondering about whether she was still in her right mind, the other wondering what Mulder was thinking. *~*~*~* At about one the next morning, Scully found out. "Mulder, what's going on?" "It's driving me crazy Scully." "What is?" she asked apprehensively. "Will you just tell me what you told Skinner?" Scully paused. "I lied, Mulder. I told him 'no'. What about you?" "Well, when have I ever been entirely honest with Skinner?" "You lied to him?" "Actually, I told the truth. But the outcome was the same." "Oh." "Y'know, I don't see that it's any business of Skinner's anyway." "No. It's nothing to do with him." Scully was breathless. "What we do. What we... what we choose to do." "Should we choose to do it..." Without either of them realising what they were doing, they met in the middle of the cabin, bodies pressed closely together; skin against skin, hot against cold. The combined feel of Mulder's tongue against her own, and of the tips of his shockingly cold fingers against her heated flesh stirred up feelings inside Scully that she wasn't sure were entirely legal. And then they were on the floor, and Mulder was removing her nightclothes and his own. With little noise, he tenderly kissed Scully everywhere he could get his hands on, and Scully responded with a growing wetness which Mulder soon thrust himself into. She came quickly, at almost the same time as he did. And instantly she realised what she'd done. She had just changed her life forever. They both had. As Mulder slid out of her, he made the same realisation. Neither spoke, but they instinctively moved together, and held each other close for comfort. "Mulder." She whispered, her chest heaving and her head pounding. He didn't answer. She didn't want an answer. Instead he held her tighter, both holding the foolish notion that as long as they remained where they were, they would never have to deal with the consequences of their actions. The gentle rocking of the boat on the water lulled Mulder soon to sleep, but Scully was wide awake. She transfered the blankets from Mulder's bed down onto the floor and covered him, wondering if she should stay with him, or seek comfort in her own bunk. Of course, she never actually intended to leave Mulder's side, but she was trying to keep her mind busy. Burying her face against Mulder's soft skin, she thought about facing work on Monday. Krycek was living a perfectly innocent life, and she wasn't. She couldn't even imagine talking to Mulder when he woke up, let alone going to work with him, and sitting in Skinner's office with him, all the time while Skinner suspected something was going on, and images of that night flashing through her mind... She felt her tears squelching between her cheek and his shoulder, and that was the last thing she remembered thinking before she fell asleep. *~*~*~* Saturday morning Mulder awoke first, a shiver running through him as he realised his toes were poking out of the end of the blanket, and just how cold he was. Then he noticed Scully, and memories flooded back to him. Against his better judgement, he sat up slightly to wake her. She stirred, and it took a few seconds before she opened her eyes and looked up. "Mulder," she said simply. She didn't know how to talk to him any more. "Is this... Are we... I mean..." "Scully..." It was just a word. It was just her name. Not even the name she'd been called for most of her life - but it was enough. "...Are you okay?" "Yeah. Are you?" "I think I got bruised. After iceskating." Scully smiled. She had been wrong. Skinner and the FBI relationship policy were wrong. A couple of minutes of passion hadn't changed them. Nothing had changed - she was still Scully and he was still Mulder, and both of them were still lousy skaters. "I love you, Mulder." "Thanks, Scully. I love you, too." That was all that mattered. --End-- Please email me, I'm lonely here in my basement and I need feedback <100343,166@compuserve.com> Thank-you ; D xoxox