Date sent:        Sun, 21 Sep 1997 15:54:11 -0400 (EDT)
From:             TKDJen@aol.com
Subject:          Re:  "David Gets Arrested By The Fashion Police"

	DISCLAIMER:  THE CHARACTERS OF FOX MULDER AND DANA SCULLY USED IN 
THIS STORY
DO NOT BELONG TO ME.  THEY BELONG TO CHRIS CARTER, 1013 PRODUCTONS, AND FOX
BROADCASTING AND ARE WONDERFULLY PLAYED BY DAVID DUCHOVNY AND GILLIAN
ANDERSON. THEY ARE BEING USED WITHOUT PREMISSION.  I AM NOT MAKING ANY 
MONEY
FROM THE USE OF THEM.  NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGMENTS WERE INTENDED IN THE USE 
OF
ANY OF THE ABOVE MATERIAL.

	TITLE:  "THE MEETING SERIES-DAVID GETS ARRESTED BY THE FASHION POLICE"  
	AUTHOR:  JENNIFER GARANT (tkdjen@aol.com)
	RATING: G
	SUMARRY:  DAVID DUCHOVNY GETS A MUCH NEEDED LESSON IN STYLE.
	CATEGORY:  H
	SPOILERS:  
	KEYWORDS: 
	THANKS:  TO JULIE-- WHO AGAIN, GAVE ME MOST OF THE IDEAS FOR THIS STORY
	AUTHOR'S NOTE: HEY, IT WORKED FOR PERREY REEVES!
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	Jennifer browsed through the racks at the local department store, looking
for a birthday present for her brother.  She felt really weird looking around
in the men's department, but, hey, what better place to meet guys than the
men's department of a department store?!
	She was looking at some jeans when she felt a hand tap her on the shoulder.
 Turning around she met with the chest of a tall man, she looked up, and her
eyes locked with a pair of deep hazel eyes that she knew she had seen before.
 These were the eyes she wrote all her fanfic stories on the Internet about.
 Sometimes this same shade of deep hazel, sometimes, emerald green, sometimes
a sad, stone cold gray, and sometimes a mixture of all or any combination of
those colors.  She tore her eyes away from the man's eyes and looked at his
face.  She nearly had a heart attack.  Standing before her, with an armful of
clothing was David Duchovny, star of "The X Files".  
	"Ummm, could I ask your opinion on a suit?"  He asked
	Jennifer blinked her eyes, thinking, almost hoping that when she opened them
David would not be there and it would be someone else, perhaps some one she
knew from school.  She looked like a tornado victim!  Didn't that just
figure!  After all the times she'd wished that David Duchovny was talking to
her, he finally was, and she wished he'd go away.  When she opened her eyes,
David was still standing before her, looking as cute as ever.  
<<He asked you a question, Stupid!  Answer him!>>  Jennifer's mind yelled at
her.  "Uhhh, yeah, what did you want me to look at?"  
"Well, I'm trying to pick out a suit to wear to an awards ceremony."  David
said, trying to make it sound like it was no big deal, and sighing in relief
seeing that the teenage girl didn't seem to recognize him.  It was hard to
find someone that age who didn't have pictures of him plastered all over
their bedrooms.  He held two suits before her, one a sick shade of lime
green, and the other an almost fluorescent light blue.    	
Jennifer's eyes widened at the sight of the suits.  She'd never seen an
uglier pieces of fabric in her life, and she was hard pressed to decide which
one was uglier than the other.  She cleared her throat, trying to find
something to say that wouldn't hurt him.  "Uhh, what awards is this?"
David looked at the ground, shuffling his feet, and pretending that he was
fascinated by his black basketball sneakers.  "The Emmys."
Jennifer choked.  Visions of David Duchovny making his acceptance speech in a
puke green tuxedo flashed though her mind.  "The Emmys!"  She almost yelled.
 David looked around nervously, hoping the girl wouldn't attract attention.
 "David, you were going to wear one of these to the * Emmys *!"
David motioned for her to quiet down.  "How did you know my name was David?"
 He asked.
"I watch "The X Files".  Religiously.  I'm a Phile."  She answered.
David rolled his eyes.  "Great."  He muttered.  "Well, what's wrong with the
suits?"
Jennifer bit her tongue, trying to decide what to say.  She knew that David
liked people who were honest, but she knew that honesty meant * seriously *
hurting the man's feelings.  She could, of course, choose one and let him go
to the awards and, learn the hard way, but she * wasn't * going to watch an
awards show with him in something like that.  She took the suits from him and
sighed.  "Okay, David.  First off, this one.."  She held up the green suit.
 "Looks like someone either puked on you, or blew their nose."  David
laughed.  "And this one."  She held up the blue suit.  "Looks like it should
be highlighter ink."  Then she held both of them up in front of him.  "And if
you wear either of them, the Fashion Police are either, going to arrest you,
or if you get inside, and * win * the award, the presenter is going to throw
the trophy at you from the stage."  Jennifer told him.  David laughed harder.
 She was glad he thought it was funny, because she sure as heck didn't.
"So what do I do?  Go naked?!"  
<<Yes!>>  Jennifer's brain yelled.  "No, David, then they're not going to be
able to air the show on network TV."  She sighed and grabbed him by the hand.
 "Come with me.  We're going shopping."  David obediently followed her.  

Jennifer dragged David into the "Men's Warehouse" store on the other side of
the mall.  One of the tailors, dressed in a very nice suit, asked if he could
help Jennifer.  
"Yeah, we need to get this man a suit."
"Well, Sir, what kind of suit are you looking for?"  the tailor asked.
"Don't ask him, he doesn't know."  Jennifer told the man.  She dragged David
to a rack of tuxedoes on the far wall.  "See, David?"  She said, holding up a
plain black tuxedo.  "This is what you wear to an awards ceremony."
"That's like the one I wore to the Golden Globes."  David said.
"Right.  You did good on that one."
"What about the brown satin one?"
Jennifer flinched.  "No, David. Bad.  I yelled at my friends about that for a
week.  That one looked like someone took a dump on you.  What's Gillian
wearing?"
"I don't know.  Unless she gets a good designer, she'll probably show up in
her blue jeans looking like some punk teenager."  Jennifer shot David a dirty
look.  "Oh, whoops.  Sorry.  I didn't mean that 
* you * were a punk.  I meant."
	Jennifer dismissed his apology with a wave of her hand.  "Never mind.  I
know.  It's just that you sound like my parents.  Here go try this on."
	David took the suit from the girl and went to put it on.  "This looks
stupid."  David yelled from the fitting room.  
	"Let me see."  Jennifer ordered. 
 David walked out from the changing room with an embarrassed look on his
face.  "I look stupid."  
Jennifer frowned.  ""Stupid" doesn't sound like a word an English Lit major
from Princeton would use."
"I could use other adjectives."  David said.  "But I don't think you mother
would like it very much if I taught them to you."
Jennifer grinned.  She picked up an assortment of ties.  "Long tie or short
tie?"
"No tie."
Jennifer sighed.  "David, I say "* Long tie * or * short tie *".  That means
that "* No tie *" is not an option."  David stuck his lower lip out
childishly.  "Okay, * fine *.  You don't choose, so I choose for you.  Short
tie."  Jennifer handed David a bow tie.  He put it on.  

An hour later, Jennifer and David had picked out everything he needed for the
awards.  Suit, tie, cummerbund, socks, and shiny black dress shoes.  The man
at the counter rang everything up and boxed it, handing the boxes to David.  
In the parking lot, Jennifer followed David to his car, helping him carry
some of the boxes.  "Hey, thanks for getting me straightened out on this suit
thing."  David smiled
Jennifer returned the smile, putting her boxes in the trunk of David's red
BMW.  "Oh, sure, no problem.  Hey, could I ask a tiny little favor?"
"Shoot."  
"Jennifer unlocked her blue Jeep Cherokee and pulled a magazine from the back
seat.  "Could you autograph this."  
"Sure.  Hey, what's your name?"  David asked, suddenly realizing that the
girl who had known him before he spoke had never told him her name.
"Jennifer."  She told him.  
He wrote something on the book, signing his name with a flourish.  "There you
go!"  He handed the book. 
Jennifer took the magazine as he handed it back to her.  "Thanks!  Hey, I'll
be watching the Emmys, good luck!"
David started to get into his car.  "Okay, thanks!"  He started the car and
drove off.  

It was September fourteenth.  The day the Emmys were on.  Jennifer was on the
phone with her friend Julie.
"Julie, I'm telling you the truth!  I was at the mall in Sacraemento, and I
saw David.  He asked me which suit he should buy.  One was green and the
other was blue, and I told him that both of them were ugly and took him to
the Men's Warehouse, and picked his suit out.  I swear I'm not making it up."
 Jennifer told her friend.  
"Wait!  Be quiet.  They're doing the best actor award!"  Julie said, ignoring
her friend.  Jennifer had already watched the pre awards show to make sure
David wore what she'd picked for him.  He was.  He looked beautiful, as
usual.  
"The award for best actor in a dramatic series is.David Duchovny from "The X
Files"!"  The presenter yelled into the microphone.
Jennifer and Julie screamed in happiness.
David climbed up to the stage, he was smiling, and took the trophy from the
woman onstage.  Going to the microphone, he started his acceptance speech.
 "I want to say thank you to, first off, Gillian Anderson, my * wonderful *
co-star, Chris Carter, the writers, the whole crew, and especially the fans,
who without them I wouldn't be here, and last but not least, Jennifer Garant,
who helped me buy this suit and taught me a lesson about my sense of style.
 Thank you!"  David went back to the dinner table he'd been sitting at, and
took his seat beside his co-star, Gillian.
On the other end of the phone line, Julie coughed and choked.  "Jen, I think
I'm finally going totally insane.  Did David Duchovny just say thank you to
you for picking his suit?"
Jennifer laughed.  "Yeah, Julie.  He did.  I told you.  I played Fashion
Police."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
THE END
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Okay, I know this is a bad time to post this, since David * lost* the Emmy
(Die, Denis Franz, die!) and he actually showed up wearing something * decent
*, but hey, that's the power of creativity.  I can do whatever I want!  
	COMMENTS:  PLEASE!  E-MAIL: TKDJEN@AOL.COM

XXX WARNING XXX
          FLAMES WILL BE ACCEPTED, BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT THEY WILL NOT BE
READ AND WILL BE USED FOR VARIOUS THINGS.  <Ie:  WARMING MY HOUSE, TOASTING
MARSHMALLOWS, ROASTING WEENIES, LIGHTING MY BONFIRE OF PICTURES OF PERREY
REEVES, KRISTEN KILLAR, BOBBIE PHILLIPS, BAMBI BERENBAUM, DANA WHEELER
NICHOLSON, DECTECTIVE ANGELA WHITE, MARITA COVARUBIAS (AKA: THE 
UNABLONDER)
LAURIE HOLDEN, AND TEA LEONI (AKA: TEABAG), SETTING MY BROTHER'S HAIR ON
FIRE, LIGHING THE FIRE TO BURN ANYONE WHO CALLS "TEA LEONI" "TEA DUCHOVNY' 
AT
THE STAKE, AND AMUSING ME, BECAUSE I LOVE PLAYING WITH FIRE.  (UNLIKE A
CERTIAN MALE FBI AGENT WE ALL KNOW.)  


PROUD MEMBER OF --  DDEB3, DDDB, TLOGWMDWSM (G-woman #8) GAWS,
LSDDIAHBATHHTPWB, GBLA

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"The only advantage to fame is the money.
It doesn't satisfy your need for love.
I think that happiness is wanting less.
So, for now, I want to want less."
David Duchovny
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"I want the truth!"
 "You can't handle the truth!"
"A Few Good Men"
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"Never believe anything until it has been officially denied."
Claude Cockburn
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"Until a man has found something to die for, he has not truly lived."
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
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