Date sent: Sat, 4 Apr 1998 01:01:07 -0500 Subject: Before You by Miranda From: miranda119@juno.com (Miranda K Parsons) Title: Before You Author: Miranda Rating: PG Category: SA Spoilers: Travelers Keywords: none Summary: So what did that ring on Mulder's finger in 1990 mean? Here's one theory. Disclaimer: Does anyone think these characters are mine? If so, Hello? Note: This is one of many theories about this ring that I have thought about. This is not to say I believe this is what it means, I'm just playing around with the idea. Thank you, Chris! Things like unexplained rings make for wonderful fanfic ideas. * * * * * Dana Scully thought to herself in complete frustration as she sorted through the stacks of loose papers and folders she had pulled from the bulging file cabinet. What in the world had he done before she had joined him in the little basement office? Mulder did not know the meaning of the word "organization." she smiled ruefully as she heard the doorknob turn. Fox Mulder entered, the blank look on his face replaced with a pleased surprise at seeing her there so early in the morning. "What are you doing here, Scully?" he threw his suit jacket on the coat rack and laid his briefcase on the desk. She sighed from her position on the floor of the office. "It's called cleaning out your files." she replied tolerantly. "Nothing wrong with my files." he said in mock defensiveness. "I know where everything is." She ignored his statement, flipping through a folder. "Mulder, this is an expense report from 1989! This should have been on Skinner's desk nine years ago!" "I've been meaning to take that up to him..." Mulder joked as he fell into his chair and sprawled his long legs across the desk. She breathed a soft chuckle through her nose, shaking her head and continued with the massive organizing project, stuffing the folder into the nearby, almost full garbage bag. "You better not throw away anything important." he narrowed his eyes as he passively took in the scene, then took out a case file and began to fill out a car requisition form for their next case. "I'm not too worried." she replied sarcastically. This was the only file cabinet she had not completely took apart yet in her X-Files career. And it had only taken her six years to get to it. They continued with their separate tasks in comfortable silence. Mulder smiled to himself, enjoying the early morning, friendly quiet. He was usually alone until precisely 8:34 a.m. when she walked into the room every morning that they were in town. But here it was, 7:38, and she was here with him. The thought made him somehow feel at peace. Indeed, he knew her very presence made him at peace. he thought to himself. But there lie a forbidden territory. For so many reasons. So his life would go on, and his nights would remain restless, deprived of sleep, full of the nightmares and the...unrest....what had that German word been? Unruhe. Scully heaved another sigh, more out of contentment than any negative feelings, and reached her hand into the bottom file drawer to pull out the remaining items. She was surprised when her hand hit an object....something that felt unmistakably like velvet. She pulled out the item and stared in surprise at the simple blue jewelry box. She cast a quick glance at her unsuspecting partner, but he was still oblivious to her discovery. She slowly opened the box and peered in on a simple gold wedding band. She gingerly took it off it's velvet perch and studied it closely. It had an inscription on the inside. She dared to give Mulder a suspicious gaze. She considered him there at his desk, wondering.....well, just wondering where the ring had come from. It was time to find out. She walked over to the desk and took his left hand. She ignored his amused and curious look as he watched for what she would do. She took the ring and slipped it onto the fourth finger of his left hand. He began to retort some joke about her proposing to him, then looked down and saw the familiar piece of jewelry. He sucked in his breath. "It fits." was her soft comment. "Scully, where....I didn't know....I forgot that was in there." he stammered, wondering how in the world he would be able to explain the facts surrounding this ring to her. It was a part of his past, a brief part, that he had buried. Buried to be forgotten. "Who's K.?" she tried to sound nonchalant, and went around and sat in the chair facing the desk, as if to tell him she was ready for his story. "Kate." he almost whispered. There was a long silence. This time, the quiet was not so comfortable, so familiar. Mulder chose his words carefully and deliberately. "I should have buried this with her. But I needed to hold on to something when it happened." "What happened?" her voice, although still edged with disappointment that he had kept this from her, softened at the obvious sorrow that surrounded the object. He took it off his finger and absently turned it in his hand. "She was a schoolteacher. Second grade.. So pure, innocent, beautiful. Not typically the kind of woman I was attracted to, but from the moment I met her on a case I was doing that she was a witness to, I couldn't stay away from her. No one had ever cared about me like Kate did. She would listen for hours as I poured my heart out to her, told her of the tragedy of my past, the painful search for my sister, the demons and the nightmares." Mulder paused, lost in thought, and considered the ring with tears brimming in his eyes. "It was only natural that I ask her to marry me. I never wanted her to leave my side. I knew I couldn't ever live without her. So three months after I met her, I asked her to be my wife. We were married four months later." There was another long silence. Scully stared at him thoughtfully, tears misting her own eyes as she watched the pain that was being stirred up inside her partner, the previously healed scar that had been torn open once again. "Mulder, if you don't want to tell me anymore-" she said softly. He shook his head. "It's all right, Scully. I should have told you a long time ago. Kate and I were married for seven months. And then as I began to try to get the X-Files, and began to realize some of the answers in regard to my sister, she began to act strange. She'd have secretive phone calls, and people coming to the house late at night when she thought I was asleep. She would press me for information about what I was doing at the Bureau, about what I was discovering. But she was as loving and supportive as she had ever been, so I didn't worry too much about it. Then I came home one day and...." Mulder's tears spilled down his cheeks as his voice wavered and became silent. Scully hesitated for a moment, then stood and crossed over to his side of the desk, where she leaned on the desk and put a supportive hand on his arm. He took a deep breath. "She was lying in a pool of blood. Shot twice in the head. No sign of a break in, no sign of anyone. The autopsy confirmed it had not been suicide, but the investigation was eventually dropped because of no leads or evidence. I didn't understand then what I know now. But I found letters and phone calls later that revealed her true identity. She had been working against me all along." Scully gasped softly, shaking her head. "Oh, Mulder," she faltered. He smiled ruefully through his tears. "I've tried to convince myself that she didn't want to do what she was doing. That she got in over her head before she knew what was going on and tried to get out because she really did love me....and that's why they killed her. But I honestly have no idea why she died. Or whether or not the devotion I had for her was ever returned to me." "I'm so sorry." Scully shook her head again, pulling his head to her chest and pressing her mouth against his hair. "It's okay. It really is." he pulled back a minute later and took her hands in his own. "But all that she was to you? Your safety, your comfort, your friend...to find out she was your enemy all along? Mulder, I can't imagine. That would be like..." her voice trailed off. He studied her carefully. "Like what?" he prompted. She stared at him for a minute. "Like finding out you had been against me the whole time. That everything had been a lie." she said the words, then lowered her gaze with an embarrassed shrug. "I guess it's nothing like that though." she contradicted herself. "I've never been married, but I'm sure it was much more than that." Mulder watched her intensely. Her words had touched him. More than she realized. He suddenly knew the truth. The truth about Kate, the truth about Scully. And he knew he had to share it with her. "Scully, you're right. Kate's betrayal *is* nothing like you and me." She nodded, her face reddening. "Because the way I need you is *so much more.*" he said the words quietly, but passionately. She stared at him. He stood and pulled her into a hard embrace. He gathered her as close...as close as he could possibly get her, and whispered in her ear. "When Kate died, I went on. *I can't live without you.*" Scully pushed against his chest, struggling to be free from the desperate embrace so that she could see his eyes. He smiled, but it was so mournful that she could not return it. She saw him honestly, the way he was, before her. The way she could never allow herself to see before this moment. She saw the needy, fearful Mulder that ached the moment she left his sight and did not cease to fear for her safety until she returned into his presence, her nearness the only thing that could assure him she was fine. And that she was fine...the only thing that could give him strength. She loved being loved this way. She wanted to be needed and necessary to someone's life. But it scared her to death. His very existence required hers. His sanity, his reprieve, his day in a heart of darkness....she was vital to his continuance. The thought frightened her more than any monster, any mutant, any dark and evil conspiracy. The one she loved *needed* her. But could she always be there? "I'll try , Mulder." she whispered, kissing his cheek softly and pulling him into her arms once more. He clung to her, not understanding her words, but understanding her heart. They would survive....together. The end. _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]